I am a sex worker. That’s right, I am in the
business of selling sex, by choice. I know what you’re thinking- “Oh, poor
girl. Someone must have touched her inappropriately as a child.” Or, perhaps you’re
thinking “What a whore. She’s probably doing it to support her cocaine habit.”
Lastly, my favorite- “Well, she must not be very bright. No self-respecting
woman would do such a thing.” Well, if you’re thinking those things (or
anything close to it), then I especially encourage you to keep reading. There
are no horrific tales of abuse here, there’s no drug habit or child to support.
There’s just me…a 29 year old woman, going to school part-time, working a
professional job part-time, and doing sex work in between. I grew up in the
suburbs in a happy and well-adjusted family. I guess I don’t fit the stereotype
of a sex worker, do I? Sorry to disappoint you, but I thought you should know
the truth.
Perhaps you’d like to know what type of sex work I
do. First let’s talk about what I don’t do. I don’t have sex for money. Surprised?
I’ve never gotten paid to touch a man (unless you count diamonds and expensive
dinners from ex-boyfriends as payment. Seriously, aren’t we all just sex
workers?). I have friends who engage in prostitution, and I have nothing but
respect and love for my girls. I don’t judge sex workers, regardless of the
type of work that they do. I have my own brand of sex work. I do porn, have sex
on webcam (sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend), sell my personal
belongings and photos to adoring fans, and occasionally phone sex. Let’s just
say that I make A LOT of money, but I have always been taught that it’s rude to
discuss one’s finances, so let’s move on.
One of my pet peeves- people who try to save me.
People who pity me. I’m not asking for your fucking help, got it? I choose to
be a sex worker, and I enjoy it. I enjoy the flexibility, the money, the
respect. I DEMAND respect from my clients, and if I don’t get it, then they don’t
get what they want. I make the rules, and I can’t say that about any other job
I’ve ever had.
I once had a woman (she claimed to be feminist) tell
me that I don’t respect my body, and that I am “selling myself to the
patriarchy.” What the fuck does that even mean, and how does this woman know how
I feel about my body? In my opinion, she’s just as bad as all of these fucking
Republican pigs who try to tell us what to do with our pussies, even though
they have a dick between their thighs. I decide what I do with my body, got it?
I love my life. I love my body. I am a sex worker.
Niki
PS- Thank you Page, for having the guts to stand up
for us.
YAY!
ReplyDeleteNiki:
I want to thank you for having the (balls?) to say this! I am posting it to my Facebook.
Love,
Billie
Billie- when are you going to send your guest submission? ;) xoxo
ReplyDeleteFunny about the drug comment. When I went back to my high school reunion as a legend in the porn industry (20 years). Question I got was "Did drugs lead you to that industry?" I said no, I am a exhibitionism and I found my purpose in life. Begin a porn star is a legal profession, it is a product that is in demand. Just like a doctor, or working at Target, it is a position that needs to be filled. Like any industry there are people in for the passion and then there are people in it just to make money. As with any profession being in it for the passion can suck sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this Rebecca- there are still so many people who don't understand that being a porn performer is a legitimate job. I bet if you were a doctor, no body would ever ask you "wow, why did you choose that profession?" or "did drugs lead you to that career?" People are so absurd sometimes. They also fail to realize that ALL jobs can suck at times. For instance, I work as a therapist, and I love my job. I love everything that I am doing professionally. However, there are days where I'm fucking tired, where I feel burnt out, where I don't just feel like seeing a client. It's a difficult job, like any other, but it's rewarding and I enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteOops, that should say *where I just don't feel like seeing a client.
ReplyDeleteI just got home from work, and I'm already burnt out! Too burnt out to even write properly!
When I went in to sex work, i did it for the thrills and spills, and the tavel opportunities, I stayed for a short time, accomplished what i wanted, pick & chose my clients (only 3, high rolling nice men who respected me, even in the bedroom) we got on well, and I still count 2 as friends 10 years later. But, and I think this is a big but, women like us are lucky that we have the choice, out impoverished sisters, those with drug, alcohol and mental health problems need our support. I am a feminist and I see our duty (whether retired or not) to help the women in the same business who *are* being abused. and starting with rights in the workplace is the best place to begin. Excellent post btw, it always astounds people when i tell them what i did for a living tens years ago, they always assume the worst. We need to lead this fight to save our sisters less fortunate than ourselves, anyone claiming to be a feminist trying to thwart these efforts in an "antifeminist" by the Dworkin definition. If not us who? If not now when? more power to you sister! my love is with you.
ReplyDelete"I don't have sex for money."
ReplyDeleteWhen you do porn or have sex on webcam aren't you receiving money for having sex?
Thank you for reading and posting. This is my blog, although this particular post is a guest post. So, I cannot speak for the author and answer these questions, but perhaps she will jump in at some point.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm not 100 percent sure what she meant by that statement, but I think she meant that she doesn't have actual intercourse with her clients. That's how it sounds to me.
I get a bit perplexed as to why everyone is all about I do sex work, im not a drug addict. I feel like many look down on drug addicts. I was a sex worker and a drug addict. I still chose sex work. I still conducted myself professionally. There are many drug addicts in all different professions. And I feel insulted by the insinuation that if you are a drug addict you're in capable of making decisions! Sure you might not always make the best decisions, but it doesn't make you a completely inept idiot, rendered helpless in the face of life or the sex industry. -Author of guest blog #2
ReplyDeleteAuthor of guest blog #2- GOOD POINT! Very very very true. I think it's wrong that many people believe the stereotype that ALL women in the sex industry are drug addicts, however, you're right that we must be careful to not also stigmatize addicts. As a therapist, I've actually been working in substance abuse for the past 2 years, first at a Methadone clinic, and now with patients on Suboxone. I have seen ALL walks of life as part of this job, from people in poverty to extremely wealthy businessmen. All addicts, many of them functioning perfectly well in their professional lives. They just happened to be people with an addiction problem, but they were still people that deserve respect.
ReplyDeletethank you xxx
DeleteThank you for this, I stumbled across it on reddit. I was a prostitute for a short time and even though I was forced into it I don't regret being in the trade. I did have several bad addictions and the money helped support them but I have since gotten clean and now counsel girls anonymously in hopes that I can help them. I got out on my own and took the man in charge of me down. I found out he had over 100 girls working for him and all were being beaten or emotionally tortured, not to mention he liked to help with our habits so we would stay more willingly. I still do webcams and private parties but no actual sex, just entertainment. What I'm trying to say is, we aren't bad people, or crack heads or nymphos or whatever else people call us. We are humans, and as such we are entitled to make mistakes and in turn learn from those mistakes. I just hope maybe you can help some people understand that. Thank you for this blog. You are a rare kind of person. Keep helping people and always love yourself.
ReplyDeleteCordelia- thank you so much for your comments & for sharing your experience. It's incredible how you were able to turn your trauma into empowerment. Good for you for taking him down and now giving back in a positive way.
ReplyDeleteI COMPLETELY agree with you, there is a horrible stigma against sex workers. If you do webcam/shows (consensually) and you feel good about it, then good for you. It's no one else's right to judge you. I'm so glad that you enjoy the blog. My goal is to reduce the stigma against sex workers and to advocate for their rights. xoxo
Also, if you're interested in the private facebook group that's associated with the blog, check out the link on the main page. There's over 100 sex workers, former workers, and activists that support each other and share sex work news in the group. xoxo Page
ReplyDeleteThank you for caring. There are to few people in the world that care about us, let alone try to take the time to understand us. Thank you so much for trying to help reduce the stigma placed on people like us. I will definitely check out the link to facebook.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Cordelia.
P.s. Everything I do now is consensual and I wouldn't have it any other way. :)
:) And that's how it should be!
ReplyDelete