tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53845256677197304262024-03-16T00:08:28.882-07:00For The Love Of Porn, Prostitution, and PussyA blog about sex worker rights, the sex industry, rape culture, slut-shaming, & everything in between (your legs and mine!) AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-51576866028676039382013-09-23T00:01:00.002-07:002014-01-02T18:13:03.356-08:00You're Not Mentally Ill. And the Sky is Hot Pink. Because I say so. <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">This article is likely going to piss a
lot of people off. That’s just too damn bad. These are my truths, my opinions,
my thoughts, my healing. I’m entitled to this and so I’ll go ahead and write
it. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">It’s hard to know where to start. When I
was in my late teens, I was diagnosed with a mental illness. I’ve been in and
out of therapy for years, on and off various medications. I’ve made more
mistakes than I’d care to admit to, but at the end of the day I’m pretty
satisfied with where I’ve ended up. MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR MY
BAD BEHAVIOR. Should I repeat it another thousand times? Perhaps. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR
MY BAD BEHAVIOR.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR
MY BAD BEHAVIOR.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR
MY BAD BEHAVIOR.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR
MY BAD BEHAVIOR.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR
MY BAD BEHAVIOR.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR
MY BAD BEHAVIOR.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR
MY BAD BEHAVIOR.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Ok please don’t make me repeat that
again. So moving on…</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ve led a colorful life. I’ve been
victimized, and I’ve victimized others. If you’ve never done the latter, then
good for you. I admire you but unfortunately, most of us cannot say that. There
are different levels of victimization (of course), but for now can we just
leave it at that? Simply put, I’m not a saint, but I am a woman with a heart of
gold and good intentions. Like many other human beings, I’m multi-dimensional. I
struggle, and I screw up, and I do positive things, and sometimes I try my
best. Sometimes I don’t. If you’re a person who’s never made a single mistake,
never hurt another human, never acted selfishly, never lied…stop reading. Go
and get sainted & leave us common folk alone. We’ll probably have more fun
without you. (Ha.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">There are times when I’ve done crappy
things to those that I love. Here’s the thing about hurting people- they always
want an explanation. People always say “but why? How could you?” Fair enough. I’ve
asked that question of many who have hurt me. I’ve screamed it, yelled it
through tears, written it. I’ve begged for the answer. Part of asking for an
answer is accepting the answer that’s given to you. It’s usually not enough to
satisfy, and it usually falls short. Sometimes the person gives a bullshit
answer. What should we expect? Perhaps we should stop asking. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Mental illness and/or drug addiction ARE
part of the reason that people act out and hurt others. Can anyone deny that?
Once again, IT IS NOT AN EXCUSE. Please don’t make me type that another 8
times. People need to stop conflating “explanation” with “excuse.” Mental
illness IS a source of poor behavior, a partial explanation, a possible cause.
It is not an excuse, and when somebody mentions their mental illness when
discussing their poor choices, please stop telling them that it’s not an
excuse. Unless somebody says “I did these awful things but I can’t be held
responsible. It’s not my fault, I’m ill,” they don’t deserve to be told that
they’re “using mental illness as an excuse.” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The problem is that as a society, we don’t
know how to talk about mental illness, and we sure as hell don’t know how to
discuss abusers who are mentally ill. When we hear of things such as abuse,
torture, harassment, rape, etc, our blood turns hot. We become (rightfully)
angry, and unfortunately, along with that rightful reaction comes a tendency to
ignore reason. We want answers, but we won’t accept the answers. We’re out for
blood. So, what can the abuser do, other than go 6 feet under? What is the acceptable
way for an abuser to return to society? I’m sincerely curious as to what people
have to say about this. I don’t have an answer. However, I do not believe that
telling someone (even if they are an abuser) to “Shut up. Go away. Die.
Disappear. Stay off of social media. Stay off of life!” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may be our gut reaction, but is it
reasonable? For those of you that say yes, think about this- do you believe in
the death penalty? Why or why not? My guess is that anyone reading this is fairly
liberal, and likely to reject the death penalty. I’m against the death penalty
because I don’t believe in “an eye for an eye,” and I believe in
rehabilitation. I believe that the death penalty is hypocritical. Okay, I know
it’s a far stretch to compare shunning somebody to the death penalty, but does
anyone see the point that I’m trying to make? We’re always quick to be liberals
when the person in question isn’t somebody who has personally abused us. But
what about when they have? Then what? How do we deal with them? How do we deal
with our boiling blood, our rage, our pain? How is the person in our life
supposed to answer us? What would satisfy us? Should they just go 6 feet under?
</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I feel myself straying from my original
point because honestly, I’m tired and I didn’t plan to write anything tonight.
I’m feeling slightly triggered by all of the social media posts floating around
out there tonight. As someone who has mental illness and who has also worked as
a therapist treating mental illness, I’m disappointed by the attitudes that
surround me. People whom I regard as intelligent are saying things such as “that
person is using mental illness as a privilege!” No, he’s not. He’s simply
answering your questions, and to pretend that mental illness wasn’t at least a
slight contributor to those actions is foolish. As I’ve written in earlier
posts, it IS possible for a person to be a manipulative abusive fraudulent POS
and also be mentally ill. I’ve noticed that people don’t like to realize that
simple fact, but it’s the truth. C’mon folks- THINK IN DIALECTICS! Let me
repeat this- To pretend that mental illness wasn’t at least a slight
contributor to those actions is foolish. That’s part 1. Part 2 is this: it
doesn’t mean you have to forgive that person. You don’t have to feel sympathy
for that person, but to deny that mental illness played a role is silly. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">So, why is it that people don’t want to
believe that an abuser is mentally ill? Well, perhaps because mental illness
usually garners sympathy. We usually feel sorry for sick people, right? And, nobody
wants to feel sorry for an abuser. Newsflash- we don’t have to. We don’t need
to feel sympathy for the mentally ill. We can be just as fucking angry at them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I can already hear people saying “but
what about the victims?! You’re an apologist!” No, I’m not. I’m simply capable
of holding multiple uncomfortable truths in my mind, all at once. It would
probably be easier and less painful to be less insightful, but that’s not my
style. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Facing these uncomfortable issues head
on has made me think of the abuse that I’ve faced throughout my life. It dawned
on me that since I’m running around lecturing people about facing uncomfortable
truths, I should try to face my own. So, I decided to think about my ex, and
how I would feel if this controversy were surrounding him. I immediately felt
angry. I’d want people to write him off, to scream at him, to tell him to go
away. But, is that okay? No, it’s really not. As much of a piece of crap as he
is, he’s still a human, and there are reasons behind his horrid behavior. One
of the main reasons that he was so abusive (in my opinion) is his severe problem
with anger. He’s got one of the worst tempers I’ve ever had the displeasure of
being around. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen anything quite like it,
and would be happy to never see anything like it again. So, it would be safe to
say that he abused me partly due to his anger problem, correct? Is that
excusing him? No, of course not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
just the truth. It is what it is; nothing more and nothing less. In my opinion,
he’s also mentally ill and that’s also part of the explanation for his
horrendous actions towards me. That’s also not an excuse. I don’t have to like
him and I don’t have to forgive him, and I never will. I also don’t have the
right to demand that he disappear from the public sphere, that he stop living
his life. That’s not an easy thing to admit because trust me, there are days
that I wish he would disappear. BUT that’s not my call to make, and it’s not reasonable.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">So what do we do with abusers? Do we
pretend like they’re not mentally ill because it suits us to believe they’re in
perfect mental health (even in the face of overwhelming evidence that they are-
HELLO FOLKS! THAT IS A CLEAR AXIS II PRESENTATION IF I’VE EVER SEEN ONE!)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Do we banish them? Kill them? Treat them
like a child & take away their social media accounts? Demand that they
never see the light of day again? When we ask them for an explanation, do we
continue to tell them that it’s not good enough? If so, why do we keep asking
for one?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Seriously, what do we do? I’m seeking an
answer for that. Please keep in mind that it’s almost midnight and that I’m
tired. I’m not sure if everything in this post made sense…but I am trying to
stir up some reasonable discourse. I’ve been thinking about these issues for
quite some time, and now I’m sharing them with others. Thank you for reading.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Christina</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">For background on these issues, click here:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-73724469321235592692013-08-14T19:06:00.000-07:002014-01-02T18:07:57.781-08:00On Sex Worker Outing & Getting Outed- Interview by Gram PonanteHi friends! Gram Ponante, America's beloved porn journalist, interviewed me a couple of weeks ago. We touched on some serious issues including what it was like for me to come out as a sex worker to family, and more. The original interview is here, but it's NSW (not safe for work). There are some advertisements and pornographic pictures on the site, so for those of you who would rather skip that, I re-posted the interview here. Enjoy! :)<br />
<br />
<a href="http://gramponante.com/interview-christina-parreira-on-sex-worker-outing-and-getting-outed/" target="_blank">Christina Parreira On Sex Worker Outing & Getting Outed </a><br />
<br />
A few weeks ago, Christina Parreira posted on her facebook page that
her mother was dismissive and judgmental about Parreira’s work in the
sex industry. A stripper, occasional cam model, and fetish performer,
Parreira also holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology and is a
Ph.D. candidate and sex worker rights activist. We talked about coming
out as a sex worker to family, and the conversation grew from there.
<br />
<br />
<strong>Gram</strong>: How receptive had you expected your mother to be, and had you prepared yourself for Not Receptive At All?<br />
<br />
<strong>Parreira</strong>: Coming out to family members can be a very
scary experience. My mother is rather conservative. She’s only slept
with one man her whole life, and that’s my father. The concept of sex
work is foreign to her. She views it as degrading and “dirty.” I knew it
was going to cause big problems in our relationship if she found out,
so I kept it from her as long as I could. However, given my increasing
interest in the sex industry, she started to ask questions. She knew
something was going on, but she just wasn’t sure what. At first she
assumed I was a stripper or perhaps a prostitute. She used to ask me why
I had so many wigs! She started harping on me about something that I
wasn’t even doing at the time, and I finally broke down and told her the
truth; that I was a cam model. <br />
Although she was angry, she was relieved that I wasn’t leaving the
house to work and that I wasn’t at a club (she deemed this to be more
dangerous than just working from home on a webcam). Although things were
tense, she took the news better than I had expected. Things remained
relatively calm until I became more vocal about being a sex worker. She
read my blog and realized that I was “out” to everyone, and this is when
the real problems began. At this point in time, I have decided to take a
break from my relationship with her. As much as this pains me, I feel
it’s necessary to keep my respect and sanity intact.<br />
<br />
<strong>Gram</strong>: I have a pornographer friend who says that he
hasn’t told his family because only he has made the decision to be a
pornographer, but they have not made the decision to be related to one.
Your mother’s attitude toward your work seems like the two of you have
found an unhappy medium between your not hiding the truth from her and
her rejecting your truth. Is it possible you could have not told her?<br />
<br />
<strong>Parreira</strong>: I think it would have been much easier to
never tell her, although she would have continued to worry and make her
own assumptions. Also, I am not one to hide. As I said, I felt that
hiding that part of who I am would only perpetuate the stigmas that I
work to fight against. I felt that I was being disingenuous, and I did
not want to live that way<br />
My mother worries about public perception. She would be much happier
if I were a sex worker that didn’t talk about being a sex worker. By
being so open about it, she says that I am bringing shame upon her, and
she asked me how I could “have sunk so low.” As much as she’s disgusted
with what I do, she’s even more disgusted with the fact that I am not
ashamed.<br />
<br />
<strong>Gram</strong>: Here is a particularly invidious question: How
would you imagine your mother treating your profession in a perfect
world, or would a perfect world mean you wouldn’t be a sex worker?<br />
<br />
<strong>Parreira</strong>: In a perfect world, I would still be a sex
worker, but I could do so without being shamed or stereotyped for it.
This goes for every individual who works in the sex industry. Sex
workers would be treated with respect, would have labor rights,
protection under the law. We would have the basic civil and human rights
that we deserve. Perhaps my mother would disagree with my choice, but
she would still respect me. My mother views sex work as amoral. In a
perfect world, she wouldn’t push her morals onto me, and would respect
my right to do what I please with my body.<br />
<br />
<strong>Gram</strong>: Again with the perfect world, I know that a
lot of porn performers rarely acknowledge that personal relationships
can get tricky in this business. Sex is personal, and often proprietary.
Jealousy is hard to avoid even with the grooviest couples…<br />
<br />
<strong>Parreira</strong>: It’s an ongoing journey. In both camming
and stripping, I provide a service to individuals: attention,
titillation, fantasy, company, conversation. My clients provide me with
monetary compensation. It’s a clean exchange without false pretenses,
and it feels very honest. I understand that this is just a job and I
feel that I am able to separate the two. However, sex work has changed
me. It would be strange if an individual worked in ANY profession for
five years and didn’t experience some changes, right? I’ve had sex on
camera for money, many times. “On camera sex” is different from off
camera sex. I’ve had moments in my personal sex life where I begin to
mimic some of what I am used to doing on camera, and then I catch
myself. Sometimes it can be hard to relax and just enjoy the natural
process of sex, but this also depends on my comfort and familiarity with
my partner. Working as a stripper has also produced some changes, but
it’s still too early for me to pinpoint exactly how those changes are
manifesting. I’ve only been dancing for a couple of months. It’s
interesting to work in a space with all female workers, and the majority
of male clients. I observe the way gender roles play out in the club.
They seem much more extreme inside the club than they do in the “real
world.” I will be honest and admit that I am at times very turned off by
some of the stereotypically male behavior that I witness inside the
club. These men are clients, and in my mind, they are fundamentally
different from the men that I would choose to get romantically involved
with. This is how I keep it separate, and I’m not so sure that this is
healthy. After all, this separation suggests that clients are “bad,” and
I do not want to fall into the trap of stigmatizing clients of sex
workers. However, I can’t help being put off by some of the client
behavior that I have observed. It’s really a tricky thing to navigate,
and I believe it’s an ongoing process.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwaZ2UtPDGrKr5TwC5Dcw_64NKwBUfr9C95VH-3zBIjPIRhKRCq3icL5hcsKz5IzuJYVSYkw9HHYI96pFUE_c1VEpN_iJSIN6Og4obPI_ifrQb4nlf2LiA0XRo3ak3n58ehVzVaKmRTcV4/s1600/gram.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwaZ2UtPDGrKr5TwC5Dcw_64NKwBUfr9C95VH-3zBIjPIRhKRCq3icL5hcsKz5IzuJYVSYkw9HHYI96pFUE_c1VEpN_iJSIN6Og4obPI_ifrQb4nlf2LiA0XRo3ak3n58ehVzVaKmRTcV4/s400/gram.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<strong>Gram</strong>: In a scenario where people think of sex work
as a job like any other, but perhaps more glamorous, wouldn’t there also
be a decrease in the exciting taboo of being/employing a sex worker?
What are your thoughts on the role of a societal taboo in the function
of your work?<br />
<br />
<strong>Parreira</strong>: Even in a world where sex work is
considered work, sex will always be a hot button topic. There’s always
scandal and taboo when it comes to sex. I don’t see that changing
anytime soon. Even if it does, sex workers will always have work. To be
blunt, humans like sex. Humans have been paying for sex for a very long
time and will continue to do so. As a species, we enjoy sexual contact
with other humans. That’s not changing anytime soon, regardless of how
“taboo” it is.<br />
It’s also very important to note that different types of sex work
come with different levels of taboo. The same goes for stigma.
Television shows have been made about “high end” white escorts, but I’ve
never seen a show about minority street workers. People just want the
glitz and the fantasy, the “high end call girl.” They put her on a
pedestal while still shaming her for being a whore. But, at least she’s
visible. The most marginalized are hardly acknowledged.<br />
It’s hard to make general sweeping statements in regards to sex work
because we aren’t a homogeneous group. We face various levels of stigma
and this has to do with the varying levels of privilege. Unfortunately,
the most marginalized workers aren’t usually given a voice. Look at me- I
look white, I’m in my 20s, and I’m educated. You’re interviewing a
privileged sex worker. I have a lot to say and I face stigma and
adversity, but I can’t pretend that it’s the same as a sex worker who’s
black, transgendered, and living in poverty. I’ve gone off on a bit of a
tangent, but there’s something about the word “glamorous” in regards to
sex work.<br />
<br />
<strong>Gram</strong>: That’s true. Each financial; end has its own stereotypes and is nowhere near as homogenous as the public thinks it is.<br />
<br />
<strong>Parreira</strong>: Unfortunately, the mistake that many sex
workers make is in perpetuating a harmful hierarchy, rather than helping
one another. I’ve heard many porn performers make remarks about being
“better than the girls who escort,” and I’ve heard “high end” sex
workers make comments about workers who charge less. It’s all bullshit.
Society already thinks we’re all whores, so why are we attacking each
other? That’s the last thing the sex workers’ rights movement needs.
It’s one thing to discuss and acknowledge the role of privilege. We need
to be doing that! Our oppression isn’t created equal. It is not okay to
use one’s privilege to shame others. “I’m a classier whore than she is!
I don’t fuck for less than a grand an hour.” Oh, shut up already. That
sort of talk isn’t helping anyone. Get off your high horse and do
something useful with that privilege that you’ve got!<br />
<br />
<em>Since first we talked, Parreira has been outed as a sexting
partner of Hugo Schwyzer, a Pasadena City College instructor and
sometimes-controversial “male feminist” blogger. Schwyzer’s online and
in-person meltdown have been well-documented elsewhere, but in recent
weeks Parreira was outed as one of Schwyzer’s sexting partners (though
the two never met). Parreira has since surfed a wave of high drama of
exes real and virtual, in which her porn name (Christina Page) was
linked with her real one.</em><br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Gram</strong>: The sex industry is very much like academia. There are a lot of jealousies and politics to navigate.<br />
<br />
<strong>Parreira</strong>: There is a lot of drama. It’s easy to get
caught up in it, especially when one feels passionately about an issue.
Issues of bodily autonomy are a hot topic and always have been. People
with varying ideologies will always argue over who’s right. The radical
feminists think we’re all brainwashed and suffering from a false
consciousness. Even within sex worker activists, there’s arguing over
privilege, decriminalization of indoor/outdoor prostitution, and so
forth. I try to keep a level head, but it’s difficult and I’ve lost my
cool many times. I keep striving to keep an open mind and understand
where others are coming from, but it can be very stressful. I try to
practice self care, but that’s a work in progress!AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-48616371037683573242013-08-10T01:29:00.000-07:002013-08-10T01:29:35.773-07:00My New Interview for Raw Attraction Magazine: Cam World, Sex Work, Gender, SexualityHey friends! I recently did an interview for up and coming magazine, Raw Attraction. Here is the link, and I've also posted it here for your reading pleasure :) Please feel free to comment & share if you enjoy!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.rawattractionmagazine.com/Sample-Articles/web-cam-girl.html" target="_blank">Raw Attraction Magazine </a><br />
<br />
We speak to Christina Parreira, M.A who is a PhD Sociology student with a
primary focus on sex work & prostitution. She is also a 'web cam'
girl. We wanted to speak to her about how this affects her life and
public perception of her. <br /><br />At Raw, we believe women (and men) should be able to do what they want with their bodies as long as they are happy.<br /> <br /><strong>Christina... Tell me a little about yourself and why you decided to step into webcam work</strong><br /> <br />I
had been in a relationship for a few years, and my partner and I were
looking for ways to spice things up. One of our friends told us about
couples who broadcast live on amateur porn sites, and I was intrigued.
It proved to be a fun way to add new excitement to our sex life, but it
wasn't something we were charging money for. Honestly, I didn't even
consider the possibility of profiting from it when we started. At the
time, I was working on my Masters in clinical psychology and the
majority of my income came from student loans. I was also working as a
waitress part-time, but I was really burnt out on restaurant jobs. <br /><br />As
soon as I realized that other performers on the site were profiting
from cam work, I refused to do it for free. Why on earth would I do
something for free that others were getting paid for? Unfortunately, my
partner wasn't thrilled with my new plan. He felt that it became all
about work, and that getting paid took the fun out of what was initially
something meant to improve our sex life. We eventually parted ways (not
because of the cam work) and I continued to work as a cam model on my
own. I started my doctorate and continued to work as a cam performer,
and fortunately was able to take out fewer student loans thanks to my
new source of income.<br /> <br /><strong>What do you normally do when you are on web cam? How do you feel when you are working?</strong><br /> <br />Earnings
vary depending on how many hours I work, how many clients are online,
the time of day. Much like waitressing and stripping, it can be very hit
or miss. It took me a while to build up my fan base, my "regulars" as I
call them. It also depends on the website's traffic and how well the
site promotes itself. Once I established myself as a cam performer, I'd
average anywhere from $100-300 per night. Sometimes more, sometimes
less. I took a 6 month break between academic programs and during that
period, cam work became a full time job. I was consistently earning over
a grand a week. I was working 5-6 nights per week on cam.<br /> <br />As
far as what I normally do on cam, it really varies based on what the
client requests. Some clients want what I refer to as a "standard show:"
a strip tease and a toy show. However I also cater to a lot of fetish
clients, and that doesn't even involve nudity. I've done hundreds of
foot fetish shows, dominatrix shows, role play, cuckold and humiliation,
etc. When I am on cam, I feel that I am fulfilling a role, a fantasy.
Honestly, it doesn't feel a whole lot different than when I used to work
at a bar. I'm paid to perform a service and if I'm comfortable with
that service and I agree to the terms, I accept payment and I do the
best I can to please the client. I will admit that at first, camming was
a novelty. I felt sexy, I felt a thrill from it. As the years went on,
it turned into a boring job just like any other. I go through the
motions, get paid, and sign off. I've actually been spending less and
less time on cam. I'm starting to feel burnt out from it, and I have
much less patience for irritating clients. I've been doing this work for
almost five years, and with anything else, it gets tiresome.<br />
<br />
<strong>Are you able to easily tell new boyfriends/lovers about your work? If yes, how do they react?</strong><br /> <br />When
I first started cam work, I was much less confident about telling
others. It was a source of anxiety for me, and I was concerned over what
future partners would think. I think that was part of being young and
insecure. At this point in my life, I feel confident in who I am and in
what I do. I'm also passionate about advocating for the civil and human
rights of sex workers and have met many incredible sex workers/activists
over the last couple of years. Being around other individuals who do
similar work has helped to empower me. I won't date anyone who is not
okay with what I do, and I am always upfront. Given that sex work is
such a large part of my life, both in how I make my money and in my
academic interests, it would be near impossible for me to hide. I don't
think I should have to hide it, and I certainly won't have anyone
telling me what I can and cannot do with my body. If somebody cannot
accept that I'm a sex worker, they can head towards the door.<br /> <br />When
I was younger, I had partners who were insecure about the whole cam
thing. Those relationships didn't last long. My last serious partner was
involved in the adult film industry, and so he was supportive of my
work. It was one of the few things in our relationship that wasn't
problematic! Currently, I'm single and taking a break from dating. I've
had a string of unhealthy relationships and am at a point in which I
need to take time to work on myself and to focus on my academic work. I
can't be bothered to worry how future partners will react.<br /> <br /><strong>How has it changed you in terms of your attitudes to sex and in the bedroom when you are having sex?</strong><br /> <br />This
is an interesting question, and one that I'm still exploring. I don't
know if I have a clear answer to this yet. It's not black and white. Our
attitudes and behaviors change as we progress, and as a result of
exposure to many influences. How can I know exactly what has been a
direct result of being a sex worker and what has been a result of
exposure to past relationships, sexual partners, etc? There's overlap
there. It's not cut and dry.<br /> <br />I've always been pretty open when
it comes to sex, but I can definitely say that cam work has broadened my
awareness. I am more accepting of different fetishes and fantasies.
For example, when I was new to cam work, I did not understand how or why
somebody could be turned on by feet. I was shocked by some of the
requests that I got from clients! To be honest, I thought some of it was
really weird! I'm more open minded now, and I have more appreciation
for the broad spectrum of human sexuality. Actually, I feel really
privileged in a way. I've been allowed into the deepest darkest corners
of people's minds. Men have shared their secret desires with me, and
it's been fascinating.<br /> <br />Has sex work changed my behavior in the
bedroom? Maybe we should call up some of my exs? Just kidding. Well,
anything that a person does for five years will have an impact, but I'm
still trying to figure out what that impact is. Occasionally when I'm
having sex with a partner, I notice that I may "amp it up" a bit, as I
would when I'm in front of the camera. It's one thing for me to keep an
eye on. I've noticed this more when I'm with casual partners rather than
when I'm in a relationship. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, and
perhaps that's a result of being a sex worker. However, as I've already
said, I'm not comfortable with making a statement such as "I'm
comfortable in bed because I'm a sex worker." That's assuming direct
causation without taking other variables into account. I'm much more
than just my job, and I've been exposed to many other things that may
have affected who I am sexually. Sex work is only one facet.<br /> <br /><strong>What are some of the craziest fantasies that guys come up with?</strong><br /> <br />I
hate to say that any fantasy is "crazy," as that has a judgmental tone
to it. However, there were some that surprised me, mostly due to a lack
of exposure. I've seen clients use clothes pins on themselves, rope,
nipple clamps, etc. I don't think that this is by any means "crazy," but
I suppose by many people's standards it may be thought of as unusual.
We should be careful to not shame anyone for their preferences though.
Actually, I will say this- the bestiality people freak me out. I can be
judgmental about that because it is abusive and unethical. I have a dog
and I've had clients request "dog shows," and I tell those people to go
to hell.<br /> <br /><strong>What is your opinion on the male species after working in the industry?</strong><br /> <br />My
answer to the "male species" question is the same as my answer to the
sexuality question. It's hard to say how much sex work has played a
role, and how much my previous experiences & relationships have
played a role. Also important to note that I have had a few female
clients. They're rare, but they exist! I know plenty of females who
enjoy porn, but it seems that fewer are willing to pay for it. So, I
don't want to make any sweeping generalizations about a gender based on
my work. Perhaps more women would be willing to pay for cam girl
services if it were more socially acceptable for women to express their
urges and desires. Women often get shamed for their sexual urges, so
they're not given equal opportunity to explore them. But, back to the
question of men, I have been guilty of statements such as "Ugh men are
such pigs!" and so forth. I really don't want to turn into that though.
Also, I have to admit that I'm probably not in the best position to
articulate my views on men at the moment. In my personal life I've had
negative experiences with men over the past year, and as I mentioned
earlier, I'm taking a long break from dating. So, how much of this is a
result of my cam work and how much is a result of my previous
relationships? Ask me again in a couple of years!<br /> <br /><strong>What is your ultimate fantasy?</strong><br /> <br />My
ultimate fantasy? Having sex with porn star James Deen in a Hello
Kitty-themed Love Hotel in Tokyo. Yes, that exists. Seriously, can you
think of anything better? I can't!<br />
<strong>What are the positives from the work and what would you recommend to anyone wanting to get into it?</strong><br /> <br />The
biggest positive from my work is without a doubt the money. That's why
we all work, isn't it? I also have a lot of freedom in terms of when I
work and how much I work. I am my own boss, and I love that. I'm able to
go to school and support myself. I've also met some interesting people
that also work in this industry. As far as advice for other women (and
men because men can be cam performers too!) I would say don't ever do
anything that you're not comfortable with. This work is not for
everyone. I cannot stress that enough: sex work is not for everyone and
that's okay. Observe your limits and boundaries. Check in with yourself.
If something feels right, then explore it. Perhaps even more
importantly, if something feels wrong, don't keep doing it! Be kind to
yourself and to your body.<br />
<br />
You can find Christina at <a href="http://legalizetoprotect.blogspot.ca/" target="_blank">http://legalizetoprotect.blogspot.com/</a> and on <a href="https://twitter.com/SinCityGrrrl" target="_blank">twitter.com/SinCityGrrrl</a><br />
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AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-91620641692178271502013-08-06T12:09:00.003-07:002013-08-06T12:09:47.253-07:00Slut Riot: A Sex Worker Shares Her Perspective Hello friends! I am so pleased to announced that The Sin City Siren is doing a week long campaign about slut-shaming, including articles on the topic from different perspectives. Today's article comes from a sex worker- me! I have shared the link here as well as the article. Thank you so much to The Sin City Siren for this opportunity. Enjoy! XO<br />
<br />
<a href="http://sincitysiren.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/slut-riot-a-sex-worker-shares-her-perspective/" target="_blank">The Sin City Siren's Slut Riot! </a><br />
<br />
<br /><h1 class="entry-title">
Slut Riot: A sex worker shares her perspective</h1>
<em>In today’s installment of <a href="http://sincitysiren.wordpress.com/slut-riot/">Slut Riot</a>
we hear from a sex worker who also happens to be a graduate student. I
encourage you to read her words and consider any assumptions that float
into your head. Do you pre-judge her before you even start because you
hold sex workers to a different standard? Can sex workers be slut-shamed
when their vocation requires the real or imagined acts of promiscuity?
Keep in mind that the social caste system that marginalizes and even
dehumanizes sex workers is just an extension of the pervasive patriarchy
all around us.</em><br />
<br />
By Christina Parreira, M.A.<br />
<br />
Women who transgress traditional gender roles are often targets of
ridicule, shaming, and even violence. What does it mean to violate these
mores, and what type of women are most at risk? Women who exhibit
promiscuous behavior are shamed for being sluts, but what about those
who charge for it? Sex workers are arguably one of the most targeted
groups when it comes to the phenomenon of slut-shaming.<br />
American culture has a love/hate relationship with promiscuous women. I am reminded of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna%E2%80%93whore_complex">Madonna/Whore complex</a>,
a psychoanalytic theory which states that men view women as either
virtuous saints or tarnished whores. According to the theory, it would
be nearly impossible for a man to simultaneously respect a woman and
explore his sexual fantasies with her. Granted, this theory is outdated,
but I think it has some merit in the discussion of slut-shaming and sex
work. <br />
<br />
A sex worker is any individual who trades a sexual service for
compensation. This includes porn performers, strippers, phone sex
operators, escorts, prostitutes, webcam models, and so forth. Some sex
workers work legally, while others work illegally. Unfortunately, the
criminalization of prostitution in most of the US contributes to the
shaming of sex workers, but even those who work legally experience
slut-shaming. Porn and stripping are both legal jobs, but both come with
high levels of stigma. Porn stars are the stuff that dirty wet dreams
are made of, but you wouldn’t dare bring one home to mother … would you?
Men shower strippers with dollar bills at bachelor parties, but many
wouldn’t be caught dead dating one. The sex industry is a multi-billion
dollar industry, and yet the performers who make up this industry are
regarded as pariahs. The hypocrisy is stunning — to masturbate to these
individuals in private but to damn them in the public sphere. <br />
<br />
I have worked as a webcam performer for almost five years, and
recently started stripping. I identify as a sex worker and receive the
majority of my income from this work. I am also a graduate student. The
reactions that I get from people when they learn that I’m a sex worker
are astonishing. Even more confusion results when people learn that I am
also a graduate student. Why is this? Are people stunned that sex
workers also have brains? Why aren’t we allowed to be simultaneously
intellectual AND sexual? How does the exchange of money affect people’s
perceptions of individuals and the level of slut-shaming that takes
place? Women who exhibit “slutty” behavior are already damned, but what
about those who profit financially from this behavior? The shaming is
even more amplified. Not only are we sluts, but we have the nerve to
charge for it! It is important to note that this does not only apply to
female sex workers, but also to male and transgendered workers. <br />
<br />
Society targets sex workers the way it used to target the so-called
witches of Salem. Individuals who engage in sex work shatter the widely
held beliefs of what constitutes socially appropriate behavior, making
sex workers a prime target for slut-shaming. I hope to one day live in a
world where I can do as I please with my genitals without being shamed.
A world in which a rape victim isn’t blamed for what she was wearing.
Unfortunately, I think we have a long way to go. AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-33505967231276593952013-08-01T14:20:00.000-07:002014-01-02T18:10:19.031-08:00Check Your References Ladies! Re: Hugo SchwyzerHello friends!<br />
<br />
Hugo Schwyzer quit the internet, had an affair, and sexted with a 27-year old sex worker. Ahem.<br />
<br />
I don't have the patience or energy to give much of the back story regarding this issue, so if you have no idea who Hugo Schwyzer is/what's going on with him, don't bother to read on.<br />
<br />
For those of you who are keeping up with the controversy & reveling in every second of it, please continue. <br />
<br />
First, I want to express my disgust with every single person who is participating in the shaming of a man with mental illness. It's perfectly acceptable to dislike somebody, to disagree with them, to point out the sheer hypocrisy of the situation. Feminists are pissed off and have reason to be, I get that. I won't spend time on that particular facet of the issue. There are dozens of other blogs and angry articles swirling around the twitter universe & blogosphere. Have your moment in the sun, Hugo-haters. You've been waiting for this day.<br />
<br />
You know what's not cool? Poking fun at him for being in a psychiatric ward. Placing bets on when he will try to commit suicide. Rejoicing in his mental anguish. This is all shit that I've seen on twitter and it's disgusting. Despite his mistakes (and yes, they are mistakes. We've all made them- right?), he's still a HUMAN. It's interesting to see all of these human rights activists cheering for joy as they watch a human being's health decline. Very interesting, folks. Everyone loves a bully.<br />
<br />
A real gem- "Hugo Schwyzer's meltdown is spectacular, and befitting a man of his craven stature. Be warned manboobs and ilk: your doom is preordained" twitter by @heartise <br />
<br />
I've also seen the line "grown men are fragile" going around twitter, mocking Hugo's "quitting of the internet." So now we're shaming men for expression emotions? Real nice. Another fantastic display of feminism.<br />
<br />
Tweets such as "hahahahaha a beautiful goodbye to the sensitive fucklord that is hugo schwyzer" by @voraciousbrain<br />
<br />
What a fabulous society we live in. What's going to happen if Schwyzer actually commits suicide? Will everyone throw a party and piss on his grave? These people should be absolutely disgusted with their behavior. I have also suffered with mental illness and so perhaps I have a bit more empathy than others. Perhaps I also know a thing or two about being bullied and abused by those who hide behind a keyboard.<br />
<br />
Sigh. What drama.<br />
February was not a good month. Thankfully, I'm happily living in Las Vegas now and looking forward to starting my PhD in Sociology in less than 1 month! Woohooooooo! My future is bright and I'm feeling at peace (a rarity for me). I wish Hugo luck in his recovery. No one deserves to be shamed for having a mental illness.<br />
<br />
From the bottom of my ever-changing, always learning, work in progress heart,<br />
Christina Parreira<br />
<br />AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-54083122148764439732013-03-11T11:26:00.000-07:002013-03-11T11:26:03.164-07:00My Experience At A Feminist Conference: On Censorship, Objectification, & What It Means For MeI'm writing this as I sit and wait for my flight, watching planes take off over the mountains of Salt Lake City. This would be a serene moment, if it were not for the rumbling of my upset stomach after eating McDonalds for breakfast. As if I don't already know better. Anyways, I am heading home after spending a wonderful five days at the Association for Women in Psychology (AWP) conference, where I presented my project, "Sexism, Strippers, and Slut-Shaming," as part of a symposium. I was fortunate to spend time with former professors and colleagues that I haven't seen since leaving Connecticut. I was pleasantly surprised with Salt Lake City. My stereotypes were in full force when the plane touched down, and the woman who sat behind me rambling about the evils of welfare did not help. In reality, the city wasn't the scary Republican hellhole that I had imagined. We enjoyed good shopping (maybe too much shopping?), food (I tried Lebanese AND Himalayan food!), and of course several thought-provoking lectures as part of AWP.<br />
<br />
The conversations that were had in these feminist spaces were stimulating, but not always comfortable. I found myself constantly vacillating between "Yes, I'm a feminist" and "No, my ideals don't fit with traditional feminist ideology, so therefore, I am not a feminist." The topic of violence in the media came up over dinner conversation, which led to a discussion of Rhianna and Chris Brown's newly rekindled romance. The knee-jerk reaction always being the same; "they're terrible, he's an abuser, she hasn't made any public statements that would help young women, they're setting a bad example, her lyrics are glorifying violence against women." At least one of these statements was my own, and I'm not disputing the validity of any of them. I'm not interested in having that sort of discussion or writing about it. That's not what this is about. This is about the proposed solutions. Just as many radical feminists (ahem, Gail Dines) would love to see porn censored, there are feminists who would like to see this couple, and their music, disappear. I will admit that I became defensive during the discussion, reminding everyone that shame and censorship DO NOT WORK.<br />
<br />
Other points of interest- do her lyrics really glorify what happened to her? Who are we to judge her words, her art? Who the fuck cares what she's glorifying/not glorifying; in a community that values free speech, shouldn't this woman be allowed to express herself, and her pain, in whatever medium she chooses? Whose responsibility is it to make sure that young "impressionable" women don't hear these messages? What about starting in the home, and with education? The same could be said of porn. Porn is not meant to be used as sex education, and if it is, then we have a problem in homes and school systems. Why are we relying on media (that is supposed to be consumed by adults) to teach our kids about sex and relationships?<br />
<br />
Back to Rhianna- it made me feel uncomfortable that she never released a public statement in regards to getting back together with Brown. I would have been more comfortable if she had said something along the lines of "What he did was terrible, but he is seeking treatment" or any variations of this. Let's look at how my statement began, shall we? "I would have been more comfortable." Well, art/music/writing isn't about making me, or anyone else, "more comfortable." If you don't like it, go out and create something that you do like. Don't censor, create something better. After all, does the removal of potentially harmful things ever actually work? Well, the war on drugs was a great success, so, perhaps.<br />
<br />
Quick point on Brown- yes, he abused her. Does this mean he will always be an abuser? Fuck no. How could I have training and experience in the field of clinical psychology and have the nerve to assert that an abuser will never change? Is it likely? Is it easy? No, no. However, there's a danger when we begin to make blanket statements such as "once an abuser, always an abuser," when we assume that there is no room for improvement, no room for growth. These were statements and sentiments that I heard expressed various times throughout the conference, and it scared me.<br />
<br />
Now, there's nothing wrong with discussions these issues. In fact, I think we should be talking about this topic; how it makes us feel, what we believe is the public perception, what young women and men are learning from these highly publicized romantic relationships. Unfortunately, in feminist spaces, I have noticed the conversation veer towards censorship far too many times. Just as it has done about porn, and about portrayals of violence in media. When we begin to censor, where do we draw the line? Honestly, the whole idea frightens me; it scares the shit out of me.<br />
<br />
Now, switching gears. One of the highlights of the trip was a conversation that I had with a fantastic feminist professor whom with I had previously worked. We discussed our views on pornography, sex work, and the objectification of women. We also discussed the hierarchy that exists within sex work, and I was the first to say that as as young white women, I am part of the privileged end of the continuum. There is no doubt about it. I have good height/weight proportions, white skin, and am in my 20's. There is no fucking way I am facing the same adversity as a minority status sex worker in her 40's. Or, I could have just left off the age, let's leave it at "minority sex worker." It's an intersection of age, gender, sexual orientation, class, race, and to pretend that it's not is just ignorance, period. What does this really mean in terms of choice? What do I do with this knowledge and how can I still do good work within the community? Well, that's a conversation for another day, and one in which I look forward to having with others at the Desiree Alliance conference. My chat with this professor primed me for many NECESSARY conversations in the future. But, back to objectification. It's her belief that pornography, and the constant images of "sexy" women that serve as nothing more than jerk-off material, perpetuate a culture in which women's bodies are used and discarded. We agreed on the terms of objectification, but not on the implications. I am objectifying myself, there's no doubt about it. Do I feel good about this objectification, and am I making a choice to do it? Yes, and yes. It was a refreshing discussion, because unlike so many other feminists that I have talked to, her response was "and that's your choice, and it's okay. But, in regards to this issue, you're not a feminist." Would you believe that I actually felt liberated when she said this? I'm not a feminist, and that's okay. No judgment, no shaming, no chastising. I am making a choice, and that's okay. It also doesn't mean that I can't hold feminist ideals in other arenas, it doesn't need to be so black and white. Honestly, one of the most thought-provoking conversations that I have had in a long while.<br />
<br />
Perhaps this objectification does have a negative impact on culture and the way in which women view themselves. Just as perhaps violent media and song lyrics have a negative impact, but again, what's the solution? We come full circle. It's not censorship; it's not pulling all porn off the internet; it's not telling sex workers to stop objectifying themselves; it's not telling Rhianna that she needs to stop expressing herself. Or that she needs to make a public apology, just to make US feel better about HER trauma.<br />
<br />
I feel the need to end this article by saying that I wrote this much as I would write an entry in my journal. These are only my views, and they're expressed (perhaps not as eloquently as they could have been) after five days at a conference. I wanted to share some of my thoughts and insights, and that's it. Pick them apart and bitch at me all you want, but they're still only MY views, and I'm allowed to have them.. Thanks for reading.AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-67693566854013436532013-02-27T13:28:00.000-08:002013-02-27T13:28:08.121-08:00Susan Davis on Rabble Canada Speaks Out<br />
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The article that I posted a couple of days ago about Meghan Murphy and other abolitionists has received A LOT of attention, from both sides. Last night, I noticed that I was getting traffic from Rabble Canada, a site that Murphy blogs for. She also has a podcast on Rabble, so I followed the link and found that the traffic was coming from the sex work message board on Rabble. Susan Davis re-posted my article on the page, which sparked more controversy, also leading Murphy to assert that I have an "unhealthy obsession" with her. This gave me the greatest laugh over the last two days! The egocentric and continually self-obsessed Murphy assumes that anyone who disagrees with her is in fact "obsessed." Another typical effort from the anti-sex work camp to trivialize our voices. Anyways, you can see all of that here: <a href="http://rabble.ca/babble/sex-worker-rights/feminism-murphy-and-more-pioneering-sex-worker-advocacy-connecticut">Rabble Message Board </a></div>
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I was touched by one of Susan's comments, and with her permission, have re-posted it here. Well done, Susan! Also, thank you for sharing my writing and spreading our message. xo</div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">"As a sex worker there seems to be some lack of balance here on rabble. i just mean that while this forum is great and honestly i don't mind people reacting here and discussing these issues but for me it is every day, i am a sex worker.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">i have never said that all sex work is safe, wonderful and fulfilling or that violence doesn't happen. i have been a full time support worker for free with no back up or infrastructure for years. i have heard of and experienced violence.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">my issue is with the constant belittling of my fellow sex workers in the name of saving us. why can't abolitionists as feminists listen to us and hear all sides. why when faced with a different perspective is the reaction to dismiss? why is citing a "researcher" whose credibility is in question deemed ok? it wasn't good enough for the supreme court but its ok for abolitionists?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">we are told that there is no war but yet here we are again. why can't sex workers speak for themselves and why is it that only the perspective of those workers whose experiences mirror what people expect to hear is believed?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">i don't understand how such a slanted perspective can be the only actual "staff" journalism on this issue. where is the feminist columnist/journalist who is/was a sex worker? where is the balance between the exposure the 2 positions receive?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">the terms seem to create an environment where balance and unbiased journalism allow people to decide for themselves which perspective/outcome/appropriate action they support.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">the voices of actual sex workers should be at the forefront of this discussion and should include diverse perspectives to ensure Canadians have a clear understanding of the decisions looming on the horizon. if that perspective does not come forward, the right thing to do would be to seek it out to ensure that balance of information is available to people who care about this issue.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">already on the prairies municipalities are taking action changing by-laws and creating all kinds of ridiculous and dangerous rules. why? because abolitionists are funded like crazy to spread their message. where is the support for sex workers to do them same?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">forced registration, fining for non compliance, arrest and detention during registration, forced information sessions containing all of the usual rhetoric (its like they copied john school) the worst of that session is the "how to save your money" portion put on by the bank, they're not above selling us mutual funds even though we're down trodden, victim's of our own self delusions...oh yeah and human trafficking....is this the desired affect? is this what abolitionists wanted? because here it is. thanks a lot, we really appreciate your enabling of police violence against us....oh, you didn't know that was happening? you didn't mean for that to happen?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">the question is will any of you do anything to stop it? will you accept that this is a direct result of only one perspective being heard?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">you say i am slanderous, you say you mostly support an abolitionist stance, you say you want balance on issues on rabble....</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">its a little hard to believe when it seems that the reigning opinion here is against us.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">will rabble hire a feminist sex worker journalist? will rabble bring balance to this discussion which affects me and my entire community every single day?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">here' a story for you, some contrast to the violence described above...to be clear this is not diminish the experiences described but to try to balance views on our daily lives.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">a friend of mine was visiting from Edmonton where she has moved to take care of an aging regular client who can no longer take care of himself. this man had been her friend for a long time prior to his health crisis and so she went ot visit him in the care home where he lived. he wept when he saw her and began to describe the horrible treatment he was receiving from the care givers...not changing his diaper, one bath a week, very little food, no human interaction...</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">she was moved and totally upset and so removed him immediately....legally...but as immediately as possible... she has since been taking care of him ....for no money.....that's right....no money whatsoever....</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">she shared pictured of him smiling in a bubble bath with candles all around him....</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">is this guy a criminal rapist? was he ever?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">how can in this day and age our society paint a situation with only one brush? where is the support for sex workers who like their work to be heard? when do we get understand that we need to hear from all sides to ensure we stabilize the safety of people working in the sex industry. when will abolitionists recognize the impact they have on our safety?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #741b47;">will you ever listen to us?"</span></b></div>
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AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-639863996073031462013-02-25T13:39:00.001-08:002013-02-27T13:30:53.627-08:00Is This Feminism? Murphy and More. FACEPALM.<br />
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Over the past year, I have come across
several individuals who really hate porn, sex work, and the women, men, and
transgendered individuals that take part in sex work. I am hard pressed to find
another industry that faces the same discrimination, and that is the target of
the same fear and disdain as the sex industry. Simultaneously, there is this absolute
need to “save” those who engage in sexual labor, even in the absence of the
worker’s desire to be saved! I don’t understand it. I worked as a server and
bartender for several years. I HATED IT. I used to drive into work with a
sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, and often left work crying, despite
the hundreds of dollars that I had made. No one tried to save me. I never ran
into any non-profit groups that promised me “a better life.” Well, perhaps we
could begin with an analysis of this countries general fear of sexuality, but I
think that’s better suited for a future book.<span style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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When examining the anti-sex work camp,
it’s easy to spot the loons. I have written extensively about Shelley Lubben’s
Pink Cross Foundation in the past <a href="http://legalizetoprotect.blogspot.com/2012/03/shelley-lubben-pink-cross-foundation.html" target="_blank">Shelley Lubben Article </a>
as well as “doctor” Judith Reisman (this is a hilarious one!) <a href="http://legalizetoprotect.blogspot.com/2012/04/future-dr-shelley-lubben.html" target="_blank">"Dr" Lubben & "Dr" Reisman </a> Jordan Owen has brilliantly demonstrated time and time again why Gail Dines isn’t
worthy of a second listen. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBqcrBT-iqg" target="_blank">Jordan Owen is AWESOME</a></div>
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The problem is with this new breed of
feminists, who appear well-intentioned but are really just wolves in sheep’s
clothing. The feminists who are here to SAVE the sex workers, if only we’d
listen to them! If only we really understood the damage that sex work is
inflicting upon us, individuals like Meghan Murphy could swoop in and give us a
better life. The problem is that they don’t offer any actual resources, and worse
yet, anyone who tries to engage Murphy in a debate will be
belittled and trivialized. Does it sound like anyone is actually being saved
here? Of course not. Murphy, and others like her, isn’t interested in truly
listening to sex workers OR “saving” them. They are interested in furthering
their own selfish agenda. In Murphy’s own words, if you disagree with her
(or are a proponent of free speech), you’re “stupid.” Yup, here’s her latest
article. <a href="http://feministcurrent.com/7229/you-want-proof-that-criminalization-works-look-no-further-than-the-feminist-movement/" target="_blank">Meghan Murphy Loves Criminalization </a> This is Murphy’s brand of feminism, and if you don’t agree,
then you’re simply not worth her time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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For the record, I don’t discount the
voices of women who have been victims of sex trafficking. It happens, and it’s
a problem. Does anyone disagree with me there? However, that’s not what I’m
focusing on. I’m focusing on the fact that Murphy (and every other individual
mentioned in this article) ignores the voices of sex workers who CHOOSE to be
in the sex industry. According to these brave feminist saviors, these women
& men don’t actually exist. Again, they’re just suffering from that damn
false consciousness. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Here's a noteworthy quote that I came across during the Murphy debate on Twitter: </div>
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<b>“<span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Guess what? I DO want an alternative to sex work None of the antis are helping with that. They just shame, silence, support abusive policies</span>”’</b></div>
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What's Murphy doing for her???</div>
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I first encountered Murphy on a mutual
friend’s Facebook page. She calls herself a feminist, and apparently writes, so
I made the mistake of thinking that I could engage her in an interested debate.
OOPS! When she told me that Farley’s research is “solid,” (scoff), I asked her
what she knew of Farley’s research. (If you're not familiar with Farley's work, look it up, at your own risk. Anti-prostitution researcher, although I hesitate to even call what she does research.) Murphy had once interviewed Farley, so this
was enough evidence for her. She proceeded to tell me that perhaps if I read
any of Farley’s research, I would understand why prostitution is harmful. Hmmm.
I have had the displeasure of reading and critiquing Farley’s “research,” as
have many others. When I tried to talk to Murphy about small sample sizes, poor
sampling techniques, and unethical research practices, she responded with insults.<br />
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Individuals like Murphy (whom, by the way, has no training in statistics or research methodology) hide behind Melissa Farley’s research. Farley has a PhD, and therefore, she MUST know what she’s talking about, right? She receives funding from the US Department of Justice, and her studies are published in academic journals. As we all know, journals ONLY publish “solid” research, so we should believe everything that Farley writes, right…? Please tell me that you note the sarcasm here. *sigh*</div>
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Is this the face of feminism? I suppose so. Farley has been cited over and over
and OVERRRRRR again by abolitionists such as Meghan Murphy & Stella Marr, yet nobody pays any mind to the fact that other researchers have filed
complaints against her to the American Psychological Association. Am I missing
something? These abolitionists love turning a blind eye, don’t they? <a href="http://ebookbrowse.com/complaint-to-apa-melissa-farley-pdf-d389789756" target="_blank">Complaint Lodged to APA </a><o:p></o:p></div>
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I could go on for years about Farley,
but I could never do as brilliant a job as Dr. Barb Brents (a researcher who
actually DID HER RESEARCH IN THE NEVADA BROTHELS) in this one article. <a href="http://deepthroated.wordpress.com/2007/09/17/review-of-prostitution-and-trafficking-in-nevada-making-the-connections/" target="_blank">Barb Brents Re: Farley</a> In 2007, Brents writes</div>
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<b>“<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Thus I conclude that Dr. Farley could not have intended this
particular document to be presented as scientific research. Rather this report
must be read as a series of essays drawing on facts as they support her
organizations goals and positions. Should Dr. Farley choose to publish
scientific work from her findings, I will look forward to seeing these in other
peer-reviewed venues.</span>” </b></div>
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Oh, and in case you were wondering, that’s
the same Melissa Farley who was arrested 13 different times in 9 states for
tearing up Penthouse and Hustler magazines in 1985. I’ll give you a moment to
let THAT nugget of knowledge sink in.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So, who is Murphy and why does anyone
listen to her? Well, for starters, she holds a Masters degree in Women’s
Studies, and I think she’s also completing a degree in journalism. So, clearly,
she’s received excellent training in research methodology, right? FFS. In the absence
of any empirical support, experience in the sex industry or academic background
to actually critique the studies that she touts, WHY does anyone bother to
listen to the Rick Santorum of feminism (as she calls herself on her own Twitter page). It’s a mystery to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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She does a great job of spouting the
same crap that other abolitionists have been repeating for years. Keep
repeating the same message, and supporters will latch onto it, even in the absence
of truth. Perhaps the most offensive of Murphy’s missteps was her conversation
between several sex workers on twitter a few days ago. Sex workers were telling
Murphy that THEY CHOOSE THEIR JOB. THEY ARE NOT COERCED. She does not want to
listen. Well, we are all suffering from a false consciousness, so I guess that
explains it. Murphy, Marr, Dines, Lubben, Riesman, and Farley all know me
better than I know myself. I’m impressed. If only I could understand my inner
workings as much as these strangers do. They’re really onto something! <o:p></o:p></div>
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To summarize:</div>
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Dear antis- you don’t give a crap about
sex workers. You only care about how YOU feel about sex work. Your morals are yours
and yours alone. I would appreciate if you kept them off of my body. In the
event that I ever need saving, I won’t come to you. Not unless I want to be
shamed and judged. Thanks.<o:p></o:p><br />
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UPDATE: Rabble, a site that Murphy actually blogs for, has re-posted this article. Murphy responds to the re-post by claiming that I am "obsessed" with her. Hilarity ensues! Susan Davis writes:<br />
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<b>"<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; color: #3f3f3f; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 15pt;">this is a great piece against abolitionist journalists and shows alot about our resident blogger meghan murphy.</span></b><br />
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<b>she has recently published an article in which we equates criminalization of rape as effective with the criminalization of sex work as being potentially effective...</b></div>
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<b>i don't know where to begin to answer that argument so instead i found this response below"</b></div>
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<span style="color: #3f3f3f; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"><b>http://rabble.ca/babble/sex-worker-rights/feminism-murphy-and-more-pioneering-sex-worker-advocacy-connecticut</b></span></span></div>
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UPDATE: Even more new developments. <a href="http://legalizetoprotect.blogspot.com/2013/02/susan-davis-on-rabble-canada-speaks-out.html">Susan Davis of Rabble Speaks Out </a></div>
AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com150tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-20500775812172339542013-02-03T04:44:00.000-08:002013-02-03T04:44:20.061-08:002013 Desiree Alliance Conference in Vegas! <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hey friends! I'd like to take a bit of space and time to acknowledge the 5th annual Desiree Alliance conference that's taking place in Vegas, July 14-19th: The Audacity of Health, Sex Work, & Politics. This is some information about Desiree Alliance, the conference, and the general funds fundraiser that I am assisting with.</span> </span><a href="http://www.gofundme.com/1xrrog" target="_blank">General Funds for 2013 Desiree Alliance Conference </a><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Desiree
Alliance organizes conferences to provide leadership and create space for sex
workers and supporters to come together to advocate for human, labor and civil
rights for all workers in the sex industry!!<br />
<br />
We greatly appreciate all contributions of any amount. As you can imagine
producing a national conference is very expensive, Our registration fees are
very low to encourage attendance from diverse communities, so we rely on the
support of volunteers and contributors like you.</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">So, if you support the cause of sex worker's rights, research, discussion of health & policy awareness, harm reduction, </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black;">and education, please consider donating to this fund. Any help is appreciated!! Also, please share this page!! </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black;">Below are links to the main Desiree Alliance page, as well as the conference page and information on submitting proposals! </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://desireealliance.org/" target="_blank">Desiree Alliance: Welcome! </a></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://desireealliance.org/conference.htm" target="_blank">Desiree Alliance Conference Page</a></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://desireealliance.org/conference/CFP.htm" target="_blank">Desiree Alliance CALL FOR PROPOSALS! Check out the 5 tracks! </a></span></div>
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AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-24736903357637953762013-01-19T03:09:00.004-08:002013-01-19T03:54:01.789-08:00I Am a Sex Worker AND a Human Being. <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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A guest submission by <span style="color: #8e7cc3;">anonymous:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pussy. Twat. Vagina. Cunt. Cum Dumpster. Receptacle. Clam.
Fuckhole. Slit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Those are some of the commonplace words used to describe my vagina on
camera. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Some of the words are okay, and other freaks me out. My genitalia is not
seafood. However, it is a cunt. Twat. Pussy. Hole. Those are some of the terms
that I frequently use while performing on camera. I’m a sex worker. I’m a webcam
performer. Webcam model. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cam slut. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cam Whore. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Adult entertainer. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Those are some of the terms that I, and others, commonly use to refer
to this line of work. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This work, the sex work. Routine, ready? </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
5-10 minutes of make-up </div>
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10 minutes of hair </div>
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5 minutes of putting on high heels and panties (possibly 10-15 minutes
for complicated lingerie)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 minutes of calculating how much money I need to make that evening to
meet my weekly personal goal</div>
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10 minutes of tweeting, social networking, and getting the word out.
GUYS…I’M COMING ON! COME SEE THIS PUSSY IN ACTION! Tweet tweet blah blah skype
tweet twat twitter twatter. I have a bill to pay. I have a textbook to
purchase. My dog needs food. I want a new purse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rent is due. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Webcam modeling/performing/porning/whoring/whatever<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is my only source of income.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is my job. I get ready to go to work. I
have a somewhat regular schedule, I have clientele, I have “regulars,” I have merchandise
to sell. I have a product to push. I had advertising to do. I have
responsibilities. I pay taxes. I keep receipts. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I pay every single one of my bills, and then some, with this income. I
live in an expensive apartment, and I am not frugal. I need
vacations and sushi to be content. My family does not respect my work. My
mother says it is “dirty money.” My friends, a mixed bag. Some are very
supportive, some are disgusted, and a few have gotten into the business
themselves. The disgusted ones are always the most fascinating. They never come
right out with their disgust; it’s always covert. </div>
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<br /></div>
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“It’s great that YOU do THAT but I could NEVER show my vagina to the
whole world. I don’t know, it just feels wrong.” </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“Ha, well if I ever drop out of school, at least I can fall back on
that!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“Ew, do you have to SEE the guys who pay you? That sounds gross!” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Whatever. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I’m a sex worker. I put things in my vagina for money. Sometimes, I
even put them in my ass. If I’m feeling REALLY frisky, I put things in both
holes…AT ONCE! I can be your sub, your dom, your nasty slave bitch, your mistress,
your sex educator. I can let you worship my feet, I can humiliate you. I can
make you feel like you’re the most powerful man on earth. I can wear my panties
all day long, and then ship them to your door in a ziplock baggie. I can dance
for you. I can make custom videos for you, (insert name here).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I can do all of these things and more, for a price. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am a sex worker, and last time I checked, I am also a human
being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have a family. I have friends. I have a pet. I have lovers. I have
ex-lovers. I have loves. I have colleagues. I have hobbies. I have a fucking
pulse. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I enjoy my job. I am blessed,
lucky, entitled. Certain things in my life have fallen into place and have
allowed me to be a sex worker in the cushy end of the hierarchy. Yeah, that
hierarchy exists and it’s fucked up. More on that another day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Regardless, in a lot of ways, I am lucky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Without sex work, I would be living a very different life. I would be drowning in student loans. I would be depressed. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>As with most jobs, there are down sides.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
There are many men AND woman in this world that believe that I am
worthless. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a sex worker, I have been
called:</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Dirty. Diseased. Uneducated. Ignorant. BB. Filthy. Ugly. Fat.
STD-Infested. Bitch. Old. Too chunky. Too skinny. Tramp. Dyke. Slag. Slut. Retarded.
Cunt. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have: No morals. Dead parents. A father who must hate me. A father
who must have molested me. A hatred for men. Loose lips. A loose pussy. Loose
morals. No morals. Weird tattoos. An ugly nose. A flat ass. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am: Going to hell. Pathetic. Going to regret this. Never capable of
doing any more than this. Deserving of rape. Worthless. An idiot. Not even
worth being paid. A sinner.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I hear those words, those accusations, those dirty disgusting filthy
things every week. Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Yearly. All too often. If you’re a
sex worker, I bet you do too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
People hate me. Society wishes that I would disappear. Society assumes
that I have sex with every single human that I come into contact with. They assume
that I have herpes, crabs, chlamydia, HIV. They assume that I am a crack
addict. There is nothing wrong with having an illness or an addiction. However,
why should it be assumed that I have any of these things, merely based on my
choice of occupation? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The feminists are the most perplexing; the type that tell me that I’m
perpetuating hate against women, that I am the patriarchy. That I am
brainwashed, I am coerced. I am doing the wrong thing with my pussy. Wait, isn’t
is MY pussy though? The feminists are often VERY perplexing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
People get very angry with me. They send me random hateful tweets. I’ve
had my name published on websites. I’ve had people threaten to expose my
personal information. All because I’m a webcam performer. And yet…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The most fascinating piece of the puzzle…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Consistently, every week, I make a lot of money. I have thousands of
viewers, and hundreds of tippers. Society wishes I would disappear, but SOMEONE
is paying me to stick around. In fact, it seems that A LOT of people are paying
me to stick around. They sent me gifts. They send me jewelry. Household items.
Gift cards for food. Money on Christmas. Money on my birthday. Money to pay
every single bill. I wager that they will continue to do so. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
To be loved, adored, and admired. To be hated, resented, verbally degraded. Every
day, every week. It’s quite the dichotomy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am a sex worker. I love my job, and I wish society would get off my fucking back about it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM2MRwFUBGt4YBBVttIgZaRwm0vcS_QowGWe6koMI09OIKpkARE1pt2yVYmqLlBlEgSwj7ZS5RlLYqqH0i5aA2HfZR9S0WKZ6gjDIPsRjel2aPD4teP0fycqtcH9D88IR_9svvhG3fwrnD/s1600/sexwork.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM2MRwFUBGt4YBBVttIgZaRwm0vcS_QowGWe6koMI09OIKpkARE1pt2yVYmqLlBlEgSwj7ZS5RlLYqqH0i5aA2HfZR9S0WKZ6gjDIPsRjel2aPD4teP0fycqtcH9D88IR_9svvhG3fwrnD/s400/sexwork.jpg" width="282" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-52333606645759846652013-01-11T22:48:00.000-08:002013-01-11T23:12:25.976-08:00Feminism, Dating, Dinners, Diamonds: Is He a Cheap Prick or a Feminist? <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Imagine the scenario, if you can: You’re
a heterosexual/bisexual woman on a first date with a man. So far, so good. You
haven’t had to use the fake “I have an emergency, I have to go!” (aka
dial-a-friend-tosavemefromthisnightmare) excuse. The dinner is coming to its
end and the server places the check on the table, closest to your date. Your
adorable date flips it open, glances it over quickly, and says “Okay so let’s
split this, should we use card or cash?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I have to confess, I practically gagged
as I wrote that. C’mon ladies, even diehard feminists- what are your INITIAL
reactions/thoughts to this man? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Okay, next scenario, if you can: You’re
a heterosexual/bisexual woman on a first date with a man. So far, so good. You
haven’t had to use the fake “I have an emergency, I have to go!” (aka
dial-a-friend-tosavemefromthisnightmare) excuse. You’re finishing up your
appetizer, and the date asks you to elaborate on your research/life/job/interests/whatever
the hell people ask on a first date. You mention that you’re a sex worker/sex
work researcher/feminist/don’t want kids/have tattoos/whatever it may be, and
your adorable date says something prickish that insults your feminist ideologies
(“all women want kids, your clock will start ticking”). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Again, I practically gagged when I wrote
that. C’mon ladies- what are your INITIAL reactions/thoughts to this man? </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Well, I’ve been in both scenarios. My
reaction each time? He’s gone from adorable date to idiot monster, and I will
never see him again. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Why? Well, in scenario 1, he’s diverting
away from traditional gender role norms. Norms say that men pay (especially
early on), and women do not. Men are the breadwinners, and women must be taken
care of. Benevolent sexism 101.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">In scenario 2, he’s conforming to
traditional gender role norms. Women are supposed to be chaste, stay at home
raising the family. We are supposed to have biological clocks that tick, as we
sit around watching Lifetime TV and brushing our hair. Well, if that asshole
thinks that I’d want that, then he can go to hell. I’m a feminist, mother
fucker, and maybe my clock is broken! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">So, do I want a man who conforms to
traditional gender norms, or who strays away? Welcome to “Why Christina Is
Single Part 1.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ve been giving this topic a lot of
thought lately. I’m a single self-proclaimed feminist who has interest in
studying the sex industry. Okay, since I’m using the “F” word, I should explore
what it means to be a feminist. I know that I’ve always abhorred traditional
gender roles, but WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? And, do I really hate them, or do I only
hate the ones that won’t benefit me? I expect a guy to pay on the first date. I
expect some chivalry, or do I actually expect benevolent sexism? I also expect
a guy to “think outside of the box.” My ex-boyfriend of many years (and still a
good friend to me, somehow. God bless his patient soul!) HATED when I would
joke about having a penis (I don’t actually have one). He would squirm when I
would make proclamations about our future child’s yellow bedroom walls; fuck
blue and pink!! Even better, I don’t ever want kids! Talk about squirming.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">He was SO damn traditional and it drove
me nuts! This was a big part of the reason that our relationship ultimately
ended. However, he was also a gentleman and I loved this. Gentleman (in this
context): noun; a man who gave me diamonds and took me to lots of nice restaurants. *For the record, he is/was also an all-around nice guy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Are you starting to see my point? When is
it benevolent sexism, and when is it just being a “nice guy?” As modern day
feminists (?) what do we expect? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I’m lost. Thoughts?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">For the record, I find this cartoon to be offensive. Or, at least, I think I do. I did at one point...but now I'm not so sure! God dammit, being a young woman in today's world is confusing. Being a feminist in today's world is even worse!</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-53578928261550186922013-01-09T18:31:00.000-08:002013-01-09T18:31:17.279-08:00Bored Activist Needs A Life: Open to Suggestions<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Yes…this blog still exists, and it
appears that I am still alive. All within the last two months, I dropped out of
the doctorate program that I had been in for almost two years, left an amazing
practicum, applied to a PhD program thousands of miles away, and moved to South
Florida. Things feel quite surreal right now, and if it weren’t for the fact
that my dog vomited right into my hand earlier today, it may not seem real. The
act of cleaning vomit has an interesting way of jolting one back to reality. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">It’s no wonder that I have writer’s
block right now. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">For the most part, life is good. I never
wake up before noon, I go to the beach or pool every day, and I live in one the
gayest cities that I’ve EVER been to; I am surrounded by rainbow flags and palm
trees. I’m ridiculously tanned, and have no idea what month it is. I work part
time, and I finally have time to do some pleasure reading! You know what else?
I’m getting sort of bored. Vacations are great, but all of a sudden, I’m living
on vacation. I’m beginning to feel like moss growing on a rock (if moss were
bright pink and covered in glitter). I went from one extreme to another;
overworked doctoral student/therapist/research assistant/activist/crazy lady who
drinks too much Red Bull to……………beach bum? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Okay, so I need a happy medium. I need
something to do…something to keep me from clawing my eyes out while I wait to
hear from PhD programs. Something to do in the event that I don’t get into a
program this year (ugh, don’t think about it…don’t think about it…distract,
distract, DIVERSIONS!) This is the PERFECT time for me to get more involved in
sex worker’s rights/activism in a “hands on” way. I’ve done a lot of reading,
writing, teaching, lecturing, ranting, ranting, ranting on the topic. I want to
do more. Now that I have the free time, I want to do something, but what!?
Suggestions welcomed; that’s actually the main point of this self-absorbed
article. I want ideas! I want advice! What can a bored sex worker activist with
too much time on her hands who lives in South Florida do to help the sex work
community? This much free time is a luxury, and I don’t want to just piss it
away on lounging and hopping from one happy hour to the next. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">All responses are welcome. However,
constructive and helpful responses will be favored, versus the typical “You can
go to hell in your free time” response. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ve signed on to volunteer with
organizing the 2013 Desiree Alliance conference. That was the first suggestion
that I got, and a fantastic one at that! So, what else? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Here’s another problem; there is NO sex
work activism in South Florida. Or, if there is, I have not found it. There are
no SWOP chapters; I’ve considered starting one, but if I get into the program
of my choice, I’ll be moving out of South Florida in 6 months. Even if I were
to stay, it seems that getting a network of people together would be very
difficult. I’ve also played with the idea of starting some sort of support
group for women in the industry, and not necessarily just women who want to
exit. What about women who love their jobs, but feel isolated by the community,
by societal stigma? What about women (and shit, what about men and trans
individuals too!) who need resources such as condoms, STI testing, and tips on
safe screening? I’ve located a ministry in Miami that supposedly “rescues” and “saves”
sex workers, but do they offer any actual services, or do they just preach?
Stay tuned for that answer. I am having coffee with the woman who runs the
ministry next week. I plan to arrive with an open mind and a list of ideas,
much like the ones above.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">So, I’m open to suggestions. It’s nice
to post in this old dusty blog again, even if it’s just an article filled with
fluff and whining. I’m even open to suggestions for topics that people would
like to see researched/written about. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Since we’re on the topic of writing, I
have a 30-page undefended dissertation proposal on the topic of exotic dancers
& rape myths. It’s basically a literature review of the topic, and a plan
for a future study (which at this point, is obviously on hold). Perhaps I should
do SOMETHING with that. Oh boy, scattered life fragments everywhere…suggestions
welcomed. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcjQexrlU5KNioxHKhLUeOAUN9QqV95Bp_BsjIN_TkACM6oualtkinbsVP5wbNAzmBEg7bwoy0UppF33ktpX3CVLnmj9j4kyyUFe8gGNn01-ejt0huHiuM35HRLV_nJEn8gzUAYmcBC-vi/s1600/confused.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcjQexrlU5KNioxHKhLUeOAUN9QqV95Bp_BsjIN_TkACM6oualtkinbsVP5wbNAzmBEg7bwoy0UppF33ktpX3CVLnmj9j4kyyUFe8gGNn01-ejt0huHiuM35HRLV_nJEn8gzUAYmcBC-vi/s320/confused.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-38277802475226647802012-11-18T12:10:00.000-08:002012-12-05T22:39:04.970-08:00Diary of a Cam Model Enthusiast? Diary of a cam model enthusiast...huh?<br />
<br />
How many times have we read the "Diary of an Escort," "Diary of a Porn Star," "Diary of a Webcam Model" etc? If I glance over at my bookshelf right now, I see several autobiographies & literary collections of this nature. Everyone is dying to know what it's like to be a porn star, to fuck for money, to dance on stage, to work as a glamorous high-end escort. Hell, I've spent years reading these books! For as long as I can remember, I've been fascinated with the psyche of the adult entertainer; entranced by these mysterious long-legged beauties and their equally stunning 6 inch heels. Who wouldn't be, right? Not until recently did I start to wonder about the ones on the other side-- the guys. The "johns," the "enthusiasts," the "hobbyists." I write a lot about the stigma that female performers have to face, but what about their clients? I'm willing to wager that they face just as much stigma; they're "losers," "virgins." After all, who the hell is desperate enough to PAY for sex? That's what we hear, over and over again, isn't it?<br />
<br />
Curiosity always gets the best of me. Below is an interview with a 43-year old male who describes himself as a "cam model enthusiast."I hope you enjoy the read, and please feel free to leave comments. Also, HUGE thank you to this wonderful man for taking the time to be interviewed, and to put up with my non-stop questioning!<br />
<br />
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b>1. Can you tell me a bit about yourself, just some general background?</b></div>
<br />
Sure. What year is it? Oh yeah, 2012; I'm 43 years old. It's just an arbitrary counter right? Anyways, I'm French Canadian and I live in the Montreal area. I work in IT, specifically, medical imaging. I like tinkering with computers and electronics. I play the guitar, electric and classical. Sometimes I sing in a choir, trying to learn the didgeridoo. I'm also a bit lonely, hence why I started looking at cam sites.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b>2. Can you tell me about your history of watching webcam performers, how you got into the whole cam model scene? </b></div>
<br />
I think it was when I was reading a Reddit post sometime in July. Until then, the LiveJasmin pop-ups would just be an annoyance. (I interject here- "Those pop-ups ARE annoying!) A guy on Reddit was posting about the site Cam4. So, I checked it out and saw a couple, a hot girl giving a blowjob, all for free. Needless to say, I hung out for a bit! After a couple weeks of being a freeloader, I decided to create a free account. A couple of weeks later, I decided to pop my "pay for internet porn" cherry.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfSUz63sMiMyRR7Qf7VguGnqop_gHu_ecJPPDRZlyg0M2ODGYdgCYL273PGqh9iorNybPjRXTahJgVQeyRknMHykz31jfDnCqH4-mQq686fOWJfVrDduCA285KYR4kDLZDLOQfD4nGz4Ir/s1600/popped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfSUz63sMiMyRR7Qf7VguGnqop_gHu_ecJPPDRZlyg0M2ODGYdgCYL273PGqh9iorNybPjRXTahJgVQeyRknMHykz31jfDnCqH4-mQq686fOWJfVrDduCA285KYR4kDLZDLOQfD4nGz4Ir/s1600/popped.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b>What made you decide to pay for it? </b></div>
<br />
<b><span style="color: blue;">Enthusiast:</span></b> Partly to encourage the performers who put on hot shows. And, after a while I started to have a few favourites. I felt that I should be compensating them for their time. I would chat with the models and get to know them. I started to pay for some of their videos and private one on one shows (usually via Skype), in addition to tipping them on their websites.<br />
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b>Have you ever been ripped off? </b></div>
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">Enthusiast: </b>Nope.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b>3. So, time for some of the boring details. How much time do you spend interacting with cam models? How much money do you spend per month? How many favourites do you have?</b></div>
<br />
Well, judging from my last credit card bill, I'm spending much more than I should! I just got into this back in July, and I spent about $1000/month for the first couple of months. I'm trying to taper off to something that's more reasonable now. I am single and have some disposable income, so it's not a big deal.<br />
<br />
As far as hours, I'd guess that I spend about 4-5 hours per week on cam sites/interacting with performers. I have 3 or 4 favorite models, and some favorite couples. Typically, weekends are when I spend the most time on the sites with the occasional weekday overnight, keeping myself company as I do some work off-hours. <br />
<br />
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b>4. So- the million dollar (or rather, thousand dollar) question- what do you get out of it? Besides for stimulus to jerk-off to?</b></div>
<br />
Well there's the immediate sexual gratification, but I find more and more, it's a way of getting some human contact. Some "surrogate" relationship or companionship. Even if it's just 15 minutes, there's some companionship there. In a sense, I have multiple partners! Sometimes I will just hang out in the chat room and talk to the models and other patrons, like any other form of social networking.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b>Will you keep doing it even after you have a partner? </b></div>
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">Enthusiast:</b> I've actually been giving that some thought lately. I do want to find myself a romantic/sexual partner, and I've sort of come to the realization that I don't want to apologize for my sexuality anymore. so any future partner is going to have to be on more or less the same wavelength, maybe she would be up for couple's camming or something.<br />
<div style="color: magenta;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b>Same wavelength? Meaning sexually adventurous? </b></div>
<div style="color: blue;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<b><span style="color: blue;">Enthusiast:</span></b> Yes. I'd like to meet someone who enjoys her sexuality. I'd love to get a random message from my significant other saying something like "Get over here, I want your hot cum on me right now."<br />
<br />
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b>Well, isn't that every guy's fantasy? Along with "I need your cum on my face" haha! </b></div>
<br />
<b><span style="color: blue;">Enthusiast: </span></b>Basically. I think I messed up my last relationship because I was afraid to be sexually open and to share my fantasies with her. I was afraid of rejection. It probably would have turned out differently if I had been more upfront about my desires.<br />
<div style="color: magenta;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: magenta;">
<b>So will you want to perform on webcam with your partner, or watch together? </b></div>
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">Enthusiast:</b> If/when I'm in a new relationship, I can see myself incorporating this with my partner. It's fun and kinky, watching couples fucking and watching each other. Or watching a hot girl together, etc. I see a lot of couples on cam together and they seem to have a lot of fun. Although I probably wouldn't broach the topic on the first date! <br />
<br />
Thank you SO MUCH to the Enthusiast who will remain anonymous, for his time and honesty!<br />
<br />
xxx<br />
<br />
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<br />AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-55434714677933686742012-10-16T06:46:00.000-07:002012-10-16T07:13:52.811-07:00The Bullshit Behind Measure B & Mandated Condoms in Porn<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">The more I read about Measure B, the more pissed off I get! </span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">A bit about the "Yes on Measure B" campaign: </span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Measure B calls for a mandate of condoms and barriers in pornographic films in California. The Aids Healthcare Foundation (AFH) is behind this wasteful campaign. (Um...can you say "product placement?") I know what you may be thinking- "Condoms are a great idea! AHF is only trying to reduce the spread of HIV!" Let's explore. Let's also keep in mind that there has not been a single case of HIV in the heterosexual porn industry in over 8 years. Yes, that's right. Now, are you wondering about the gay porn industry? Well, Measure B would barely apply to that industry, even though that's where the real problem (in terms of HIV) lies. Um...what? By the way, Michael Weinstein of AHF is gay, just sayin. Allow me to be a bit more clear: although B WOULD apply to gay porn shot in LA county, the majority of gay porn is shot in San Francisco. Let's continue to investigate.</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Vote
Yes on B? You mean vote yes for a waste of tax payer money? Vote Yes
to support AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF), who has spent 4 million dollars on this ridiculous,
wasteful campaign in order to put condoms on a few hundred porn
performers? Yes, brilliant. This measure is bullshit, and what this
whole scare-tactic campaign doesn't tell you is that your tax dollars
will be paying for this. That LA county will lose thousands of jobs,
that the porn industry will continue to move out of California to Nevada and
Arizona. Just what California needs...to lose more money! Think about what
you're voting for before you vote, get all of the facts. Research the
rates of HIV in the general population, it was WAAAAAAAY higher than
in the heterosexual porn industry (Measure B does not target the gay
porn industry, ironically); hasn't been a case of HIV in the straight
industry in over 8 years. It seems to me that AIDS Healthcare Foundation
has better things to be spending their money on, rather than going on a
witch hunt against porn performers. Last thing anyone needs is MORE
government regulation on our genitals. </span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">This measure also has serious implications for webcam performers; even husbands and wives (or partners) working in THE PRIVACY OF THEIR OWN HOME. The cops would have the right to knock on their door and arrest them for not using condoms while on webcam. More government regulation...more and more...who the fuck is actually supporting this? I hope to live in California once I'm done with my degree. The day that a cop knocks on my door and asks to inspect my genitals is the day that I COMPLETELY lose my mind. Might as well just put a chastity belt on me. While we're at it, let's take away my right to terminate a pregnancy! I'd like to just hand my pussy over to the government. They obviously know better than I do. </span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Now let's talk about the claims by Mike South; that 100 percent of performers will be treated for chlamydia every year. Where did he pull this number from? Out of his ass, thin air? No empirical support or real numbers to back this up. Frightening.</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Let's explore just a bit more! AIDS Healthcare Foundation has poured millions of dollars into advertisement for this wasteful campaign. They paid for billboards in LA county, and these billboards state "PORNOGRAPHERS SAY NO ON B." Um....yea? Way to go AHF, state the obvious. Yes, you read correctly: AHF PAID FOR BILLBOARDS THAT STATE PORNOGRAPHERS SAY NO ON B. Well, of course they do. Pornographers and performers don't want to lose their jobs. They don't want to be forced to work with condoms, gloves, and dental dams. They don't want to have to move out of their state. AHF had to release a statement explaining their billboard (since it makes no fucking sense, and appears to campaign for the opposing side). What was behind this billboard campaign? SHAMING. AHF wants you to know that only "yucki" evil pornographers would vote No on Measure B. So, AHF is taking an already stigmatized group of people (sex workers) and setting up billboards to further shame them. It's like we are back in the 1950s; I'm waiting for AHF to start busting out racial slurs. Fortunately, you can't shame those who are proud of their work! Their ridiculous billboard bullshit backfired, see here: </span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><a href="http://therealpornwikileaks.com/vote-no-on-measure-b-pictures/" target="_blank">Vote No On Measure B Porn Star Photo Campaign </a></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Yup, pornographers and performers DO say No to B, and won't be shamed. </span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">For more information on how Measure B will ruin the industry and crash California's economy, see the following: <a href="http://steven%20st.%20croix%20&%20no%20on%20measure%20b/" target="_blank">http://fscblogger.wordpress.com/2012/09/24/video-call-to-action-from-hall-of-fame-adult-actor-steven-st-croix/</a></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">If you would like your pornography without a side of condoms & dental dams, Vote NO on Measure B on November 6.</span></span></h5>
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AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-69366784261387453992012-10-02T16:44:00.000-07:002012-10-03T04:12:28.205-07:00A Must-Read For All Webcam Performers & Fans <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130;">The following is a submission written by Gabriela, a woman who has been working as a webcam performer for over 2 years. There's a few things that she needs you to know...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); color: #20124d;">Hey dolls! Ok, here's the deal; I fuck on camera. I strip, masturbate, talk dirty, and show you my feet (commonly referred to as "feets") on camera, all in exchange for your hard earned money. I have catered to your needs, your fantasies, and done some freaky ass shit for you! I have amazing fans/regulars, and I am so blessed to have some of you. You have bought my school books, listened to me when I'm drunk and rambling about my latest break up; you have paid my rent. Unfortunately, for every 1 guy who is an amazing client, there are at least 30 morons. The following is a list for the morons, or perhaps the guys that are new to the world of webcam companionship. Okay...ready? </span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">My name is not bb. This one deserves some repeating...MY NAME IS NOT BB. If you're too fucking lazy to type the two extra letters that make up the word "baby," you're probably too lazy to be a good client. So, fuck off. </span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">I don't care how "hot" you are. I don't care how young you are. I definitely don't care how big your cock is. I do not want to give you a free show. Do YOU work for free??? No? Okay....then why the fuck do you expect me to?</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">I am not an escort or a prostitute. This is NOT a put-down to other sex workers; I have many escort friends. However, I don't fool around in person for money. Just because I fuck on camera for you does not mean that I can be bought. Once again...I don't give a fuck how hot you are. Got it? Good :)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">My rate is what it is. This is not a negotiation. This is not a flea market. If you can't afford my rate, go elsewhere. Simple. I don't need your business or your bullshit.</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Just because you can't afford my rate does not make me a bitch or slut. It just makes you poor, or cheap. Don't take your issues out on me. YOU messaged ME...remember? I'm not the one frantically messaging you trying to get a show. </span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">If I say that I don't do xyz...THEN I DON'T DO IT. Get over it. I will not compromise my boundaries for you. You cannot buy my self respect. </span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Learn to spell. Self explanatory. </span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Don't assume that I'm dumb just because I'm a sex worker. </span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Why are you Skype calling me without first messaging me? Do you seriously think that I'm here 24/7, at your disposal? How delusional are you? </span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">I just told you that I'm not currently doing private shows...can you read?</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Don't try to guilt me about only doing shows for money. No...I don't want to just "play for free" once in a while. You're not special, you don't make me want to work for free. </span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Respect my time, and I will respect yours. </span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">If I say I'm only doing solo shows tonight, then fucking listen to me. NO, I can't call some random neighbor or stranger in. What the fuck is wrong with you?</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">NO I WILL NOT FUCK MY DOG. NO, NOT EVEN FOR $600. </span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">NO, I WILL NOT TAKE A SHIT ON CAMERA. DUDE...WTF?</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">As I previously stated, I love my fans. Nonetheless, there's a lot of idiots out there. Cheers! </span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">-Gabriela xxx </span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"><b>UPDATE: I posted this article on the evening of 10/2, and found the following clip on Youtube the next morning! Unfortunately, I did not make this clip (if only...to be that brilliant!), but it is HYSTERICAL. If you enjoyed this article, you must watch this clip. Watch out...you may piss yourself laughing. Oh...and you know there's someone out there who's DYING to pay to see you piss. BB BB BB BB! </b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"><b><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Siln5jOh04k&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">A Day in the Life of a Cam Girl</a> </b></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"><br /></span></span></div>
AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-54948772474733755612012-09-17T13:25:00.000-07:002012-09-17T13:25:33.895-07:00 American Courtesans<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Heels. The most beautiful vintage
heels I'd ever seen! At least 7 or 8 pairs all lined up in a row, adorned with
jewels, cherries, lace and leather. Would Kristin think I was a total freak if
I started caressing them and trying them on? Probably, so I refrained. It wasn’t
easy, but I managed. I peered around her hotel room, taking in my surroundings.
When I used the bathroom, I took note of the pale pink lingerie hanging from
the hook on the bathroom door. This woman is glamor all the way, and I was a
bit intoxicated by the glitz. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I met Kristin DiAngelo for the
first time on Saturday night. I was invited to her hotel room to watch her new documentary,
American Courtesans, with my friend (and one of several courtesans in the
film), Gina Robinson. Kristin answered the door in jeans, a casual top, and
blond hair tied up with very little make-up on; a sharp contrast to the woman
in the photos, but beautiful in her simplicity. Petite, with a porcelain doll's
face and a soft feminine voice, Kristin has just finished production of her
first documentary. It was Gina's first time seeing the finished product, and
Kristin's first time receiving feedback from one of the women in the film. The
energy and anxiety in the room were palpable. This was probably the closest
that I'd ever get to being in a hospital delivery room, waiting on the new
baby. Except this baby won't come out screaming and covered in mucus (gross!) It
will come out as an unexpected tornado that ravages the public's preconceived
notions about sex workers. If it's not already obvious, let me go ahead and say
that I loved the film, and believe that a project such as this is a leap in the
right direction for sex worker advocacy. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Watch the trailer here: <a href="http://americancourtesans.com/index.php" target="_blank">American Courtesans</a> </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
The film features several
courtesans who candidly tell various parts of their stories, all the way from
childhood to present day. The first thing that stood out to me was the lack of
narration. I waited 3 minutes...7 minutes...10 minutes. It's not that the film
needed a narrator, but every damn documentary has one! So, where is s/he?! Perhaps
this was just a long introduction to the film. Somewhere around the 30 minute
mark (yeah I know, sometimes it takes me a while) I realized that the women
telling their stories WERE the narrators. The scenes switched from one woman to
another, all telling different stories, but the transitions were seamless. The
stories were chronological, and the longer I watched, the more each woman's
story came together. I was very impressed with the film's editing. Each woman
spoke, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">IN HER OWN WORDS,</b> something
that sex workers rarely get the chance to do. It’s unconventional, and it
works.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
This film is not here to convince
America that being a sex worker is the best job ever. The stories are not sugar
coated, no one is pretending that being a hooker was/is their dream job. The
film does not have some phony overly sex-positive agenda, nor does it have an
anti-prostitution agenda hidden amidst the stories. That's the beauty in this
film- the only agenda is to give these women a voice. Their stories uncut,
including the beatings, violence, pimps, drugs, arrests, and exploitation. The
courtesans also talk of their triumphs, friendship, families, sexual
exploration, and freedom that they found in sex work. Like anything else in
life, there's the good, the bad, and the horrific. Many of the women are still
in the sex industry, and some have retired or pursued other avenues. The sincerity
of their stories is what makes this film so beautiful, and at times
heartbreaking, to watch. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I chatted with Kristin for a while
after we watched the film. I asked her why she decided to opt out of a
narrator, and she said "I didn't want anyone else to tell our story."
She explained that none of it was scripted; the women simply got together and talked
to one another for hours, and from that footage, American Courtesans was created.
I also appreciated that not only were the women interviewed, but their mothers,
husbands, children, and siblings were as well. Wait, hookers have families?!
*sarcasm*</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
The most noteworthy scene in the
film was after Kristin recalled an incident of violence during her days as a
street worker. Speaking through tears, she states that she's making this film
so that no one ever has to go through this again. Several of the women tell
stories of abuse, rape, and intimidation at the hands of cops, johns, and
pimps. Although at times it may be painful to hear these stories, they NEED to
be heard<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">. The general public needs to
realize that this will continue to happen until prostitution is decriminalized,
until people (including law enforcement) start giving a shit about the lives of
sex workers.</b> Norma Jean Almodovar speaks to this in the film, and I would
have liked to see more of Norma in the film. If there's anyone who can speak
from a place of knowledge and experience about sex work and activism, it's
Norma Jean. While the film was not meant to be political in nature, I would
have appreciated more emphasis on the harms of keeping prostitution
criminalized; on the fact that law enforcement labels prostitutes as “non-persons,”
leaving them as unworthy of investigation or assistance. Isn’t EVERYONE
entitled to help from law enforcement? Gina Robinson, escort of almost 30
years, is quickly becoming one of this generation’s powerful sex worker
activists, stating "it's my responsibility to change the system for the
next generation." Exactly, and that's why we do this work.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
My advice to you is to get yourself
to the NYC or LA to a private screening if you're able to. Details are here <a href="http://americancourtesans.com/rsvp.php" target="_blank">RSVP</a> </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Thank you to Gina Robinson for
inviting me to spend the weekend in NYC with her, and to Kristin DiAngelo for
welcoming me into her hotel to see the film. Also, thank you to Kristin for
making this film, and for working so damn hard! It's ladies like the two of
you, and the other courtesans who I hope to meet one day, who inspire me to
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Thank
you to all of the other incredible women in this film: Gina DePalma, Tamsen
Crown, Pearl Callahan, Erin Marxxx, Emma Dupree, Juliet Capulet, Skylar Cruz,
and Hilary Holiday. I hope to meet every one of you in the future. </span></div>
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<br />AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-29363853032009152972012-09-13T17:51:00.000-07:002012-09-13T20:43:51.385-07:00Liberty, Vanity, Iniquity: Discovering My Power in the Surreal, Glamorous World of High End Escorting<span style="font-size: 10px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>I am such a lucky blogger! I get the BEST guest entries for my blog! This is an article written by Nomi DeGuerre, a former high end escort. It's a fantastic piece and needs no other introduction! Enjoy, and many thanks to Nomi xoxo </b></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 10px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">Escorting is a lot like working in the world of covert operations: you
spend most of your time trying to decode cryptic signals from an elusive
man who's convinced himself that he's James Bond and therefore can
charm any lady faster than you can say "Octopussy". Spy and sex
worker alike assume secret identities. After zeroing in on our targets,
the diversionary tactics of negotiation, conversation, misdirection,
and seduction are employed for the pursuit of information and
financial transaction. If the mission is successful, everybody gets what they needed, walk away
satisfied, and vanish into the veiled miasma of the pre-dawn stillness, emerging later, on another secret mission. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-size: 16px;"></span></span></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: 10px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br /><br />A
lot of people probably are probably aghast at my comparison.
Prostitution is viewed by many as a sleazy dangerous vortex that sucks ladies,
gentlemen, and transgenders into a void blackness replete with drugs,
STD's, violence, jail, and certain premature death. I will admit
that in some cases, it is. Sex trafficking does exist, and society has
done such a great job of disenfranchising sex workers from poor areas,
that the aforementioned is a self fulfilling prophecy and fate. perhaps
there needs to be more compassion and concrete, practical solutions
to help these workers into a more stable situation, rather than harsh
sex trafficking laws and fraudulent false prophets who claim to rescue street girls through exploiting the name of Jesus Christ. </span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 10px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">Escorting is a real job.
It involves negotiation skills, diplomacy, quick wit, ability to upselll, resourcefulness. It's a profession that at it's higher levels demands far more than just showing up and performing a sex act. There are standards to adhere to in appearance, deportment,
and sexual prowess. Intelligence and listening skills are a must.
Being able to rapidly adapt and survive in any situation that gets
sprung on you is the best quality a sex worker could possess or
develop. Aspiring to be the best hour or so of a client's life no matter
how well you're being tipped ...these traits are way more useful over time than fake tits.<br /><br />I
speak from experience. I worked as a high end escort from 2007 to
2009. Those were the halcyon days before the economty tanked, the worlds
of porn actress and career escort hadt 'totally converged yet, and
Craigslist hadn't fucked up fair wages for all of us by posting ads by
girls who weren't farsighted enough to realize that they were reinforcing a lot of negative stereotypes by willingly selling themselves
for so cheap and driving down wages AND expectations industry wide.
When i answered the ad in the paper, I truly had no idea what to expect. A booker interviewed me, hired me, and i was going to see clients an hour later.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-size: 16px;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">First lesson I learned:EVERYBODY GOT THEIR SOMETHIN</span></span>'. </span>I might not have boobs, but I was blessed with legs that can strangle a giraffe, and
an ass that stops traffic.I eschewed low cut tops and stuck to very
expensive mini dresses and five inch stiletto heels. I learned to stand up straight, walk like a supermodel, and whenever
i needed to distract a client, crossing my legs usually worked just as well as cleavage in the face. if you lack something, figure out what you have that is worthy of being cultivated.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Second lesson I learned: Men are not nearly as picky as women when it comes to body perceptio</span></span></span><b><u><i>n</i><i>. </i></u>I</b> was usually the only nude woman in the
room and a real naked woman sitting there is worth more than a picture
of some bikini model who exists by Photoshop.. Being naked in stiletto heels six to seven times a night will rid anybody of self consciousness AND fear of public speaking.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Third lesson I learned: Conversation needs to be as stimulating as the service.</span></span></span>.. The
better I listened to verbal and non verbal cues, the information
i picked up, More INFO= enabled me to customize the experience for the
customer, make him super happy, and i was more effective in my
strategies to get better tips...meaning less arguing, and upped the odds
of repeat clientele. At one point 80% of my VIP list were devoted regulars <br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br />Fourth lesson I learned: Know who is worth the time and who isn't</span></span></span>. Certain types loved me. A few hated me so deeply at hello that i basically
cut my losses and politely thanked them for their time. Wasting time on
jerks who were out to project their own hidden issues on me
didn't strike me as smart. especially when their bullshit cut into a
later appointment with a great guy who paid well. Some mysteries were not meant
to be taught to Fools.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br />Fifth lesson I learned: Most guys aren't these evil bastards that women tend to make them out to b</span></span></span><b><u><i>e.</i></u></b> However, take most of the things men tell you with a grain of salt. What a man says and what a man does are two very different matters.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Sixth
lesson learned: If you worked for the right agency, had a dedicated
booker for shows, and played your cards right, the earning potential was virtually limitless.</span></span></span> Sure, there were power games and more drama than Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Love starring in a Mexican
telenovela that was directed by John Waters. In the sex industry,
that's inevitable. Not to mention annoying...I just wanted
to go to work, be charming and sexy for the clients, make my
money, then settle up with my agency and driver and go home. Wisdom
truly was learning what to overlook!<br /> </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10px;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">The agency had
very strict rules about appearance and behavior. The girls who met the
standards got rewarded by being sent to better clients. The
girls who didn't spent a lot of time in the back office. They were the
ones who bitched about how they were treated by the agency and
the clients. I'm not trying to be a snob, but if a girl wants to be sent
to Raffles L'Ermitage or The Fairmont Hotel, she better look
like she belongs there. Spandex dresses and stripper platforms are not
going to get you past the concierge. My agency didn't really like
me, but I never lost a show at a fancy hotel or wealthy neighborhood
due to my wardrobe. Overall, clients treated me a lot better than most, and that's
because i arrived looking like I was worth paying a thousand dollars to. I used to joke that i had the best job in the world:
I got to play dress-up every night, I met interesting and attractive
men and women in very cool locations, and i was being paid to spout
random trivia, flirt, and make my clients see God. It was the only
time I truly fit into a work environment and was able to rise in the ranks
to where i had almost total control of my working conditions.my
co-workers, and clients. My innate ability to not piss people off yielded considerable dividends....although there was the one time i practically had an orgasm pissing one asshole off....A
very high profile movie producer said to me , " You seem...overeducated
for this line of work." I smiled real pretty, and replied with lightning speed: "I didn't make $150,000 in the last six months by being a dumbass." Perhaps my flippant candor
directed at a clearly backhanded compliment offended his gargantuan ego. My appointment with him didn't end quite as he had intended. He thought he was
calling some dumb blond hooker who couldn't see through his patronizing
bullshit and was desperate enough to do anything he wanted for
the minimum fee. With sadistic glee,I quickly disabused him of that
notion. When he tried to electronically lock me inside his mansion,
my overeducated ass was able to deprogram his ENTIRE home security
system and walk out of his house through the fortress-like gate,
singing AMG's " Bitch Betta Have My Money" under my breath, two
thousand dollars cash in my purse, having kept my clothes on...the entire time. <br /><br />When
the average man hears a story about prostitution, in most cases, he's
bombarded by messages about how she's a helpless victim controlled by the psychotic whims of a
crack crazed pimp. How she was abused by her daddy (reported in that unctuous faux empathy tone
of voice that always used to piss me off. How her desire for sex is so
overpowering that no man will ever satisfy her and she needs as many
men a day as she can fuck. How she has been so downtrodden and
desperate, that she'll take any trick that she finds on the street, and
will give him all she's got, for half her rate and no condom...maybe a
hit of smack or coke. With all the hyperbole and exposure of the most extreme cases, it's no wonder lots of folks make stupid assumptions about who we are and what we're about. Ladies And Gentlemen: Don't let the door hit your Ass-umptions on the way out.<br /><br />I
really enjoyed my time as an escort. And I've been privileged to meet
other ladies who have also worked in the sex industry by volition rather than desperation, who have been empowered by the experience
instead of beaten down. As a society, let's work to erase the stigma
of sex work, deactivate archaic laws that only isolate those who need
support and guidance most, mentor those who are new to this
world, and have prostitution, porn and exotic dancing treated exactly
like what they are: a job that one can take pride in.. No more, no less, no regrets. Thank you for opening your mind. That's where all positive change starts, babydoll...</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-78793545932681565502012-09-10T20:26:00.001-07:002012-09-10T21:26:13.578-07:00Consent is SEXY, Creeps Be Warned. Snap That Photo & Risk Losing A Nut<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Twitter is a great place to find douchbaggery of all shapes and
sizes. What’s great about Twitter is that the stupidity has to be condensed
into 140 characters, so people tend to show their true colors rather quickly.
There’s no time for pleasantries on Twitter, but there’s always time for boobs
and booties. Oh, did I mention that nothing is censored on Twitter? Perhaps
this is why I have heard it referred to as “Twatter” (BRILLIANT!) It’s a great
way for porn performers and other types of sex workers to promote themselves
without having to be all lame and PG-13 about it (ahem, Facebook sucks, ahem).
Of course, this also makes Twitter/Twatter a breeding ground for the sort of buffoonery
that I saw today.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Some roided out muscle head twatted a picture of his (supposed)
girlfriend’s crotch. He was quite proud of the fact that he got to take this “creep
shot” (yes, he really called it that) without her noticing, and even tweeted it
to CreepShots.com. I’d never had the pleasure of seeing this website, so I
checked it out. Basically, it’s a collection of candid pictures that guys snap
of unsuspecting women, usually in public. That’s right, taking pictures of
their asses, tits, (and probably every other body part that one can imagine)
without their consent. The website even has a list of helpful tips for the
aspiring creeper, such as:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“Closer the better. Far away CreepShots are just
annoying. If you are too scared or lazy to walk over and get a closer
shot, then maybe creeping is not for you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“An almost fail-safe way to get a good creep of a moving subject
is to take a video instead, then do a screen-capture pic from the video.
It works amazingly well and is a great way to avoid the blurry pic.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="http://creepshots.com/about/creepshot-tips/" target="_blank">Creep Shot Tips</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My opinion on the matter: Completely fucked up. I would love to
hear what others think of this. I am well versed in the world of internet
pornography, fetish, and a whole bunch of creeptastic stuff. I understand that
this is a fetish for some people, and am not at all opposed to the idea of a
website such as this one existing, where the women actually DO consent to the
pictures. The people who frequent the website do not need to know that they
aren’t ACTUAL “creep shots,” and will likely be able to happily jerk away. I
will compare this to staged rape scenes in pornography; they depict rape, and
this type of porn isn’t for everybody. Many people find the concept to be
repulsive. Personally, I don’t want to get my rocks off to a fake rape, but
there are some people who enjoy this type of pornography and I am not going to
judge them. As long as all of the performers have given consent, then why not?
Sex sells, even fucked up weirdo fetish sex (actually, ESPECIALLY that type!) That’s
part of what is so fantastic about pornography- creativity, expression,
exploration, and performer consent. It can make for some great art. Yes, I just
called pornography art. Get over it.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, back to the creepy bullshit. I think that Creepshots.com is
vile. CONSENT IS SEXY. CONSENT GETS ME OFF!!! I took it upon myself to tweet
the roided out muscle head who posted the picture of his girlfriend, at which
point he told me to “cry a fucking river” and insinuated that my own Twitter
avatar was slutty, so apparently I had no right to judge him. Interesting logic
on his part, or rather, just complete and utter stupidity. Oh, and the best
part was that he called me a “prude.” Me, a prude? Please take a moment to laugh
hysterically, and then resume reading. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Ok back to the creep show. Another creeper ran to his rescue, and
pointed out the obvious- that if the girlfriend had consented to the photo, it
wouldn’t be a “CreepShot.” Oh…I see. So, the consent would have been an
immediate turn-off. Wow, good to know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Thoughts? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Note to self- turn around more frequently when I am walking around
in public. If someone is going to take a shot of my ass, I better be getting
paid for it. If I run into a “creeper,” I’m going to punch him in his delicate
man parts. </span></div>
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AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-31978285417435094022012-08-17T17:00:00.000-07:002012-08-17T17:03:54.003-07:00Common Nightwalkers, Disabled Escorts, & Massachusetts Law Enforcement <br />
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">If you ever want to lose your lunch,
check out some of the popular escort review sites. This will be an effective way to make yourself sick, and test your stomach's strength. Sites such as <a href="http://usasexguide.info/forum/" target="_blank">USA Sex Guide </a> are forums in which clients
can discuss their experiences with sex workers of various types. USA Sex Guide
states on their site <span style="color: #741b47;">"</span></span><b style="color: #741b47;">The purpose of this
Forum is to facilitate the exchange of information between men who are looking
for sex with women.” </b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Okay, fair
enough. From a business model, it makes sense that these sites exist so that
customers can make informed decisions about the sex workers that they choose to spend their money on. Unfortunately, many of the reviews are extremely crude,
offensive, and degrading. While this is not always the case, I have come across many postings that made my stomach turn. Listen fellas, here’s a word of advice- <u>RESPECT YOUR HOOKER AND PAY THEM WELL!</u> Lots of ego stroking going on in these forums...among other things.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Yesterday, I
spoke to two of my friends who were very upset and alarmed by what they read on
USA Sex Guide. Here are some screen caps of men discussing their experiences
with an escort who goes by the name Kathy, in the Fitchburg MA forum. Before I say anymore, I will let you
look at the screen caps, and form your own opinion. Have fun! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Well, isn't that pleasant. Oy vey. Now, here we begin to hear about her possible disability...</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYaqlZzwiH0reBRs8-94Q7QjxzEiEiXVvyLcHxuL5B3GFidtxpD8X4eBJJJwueaY5SDTP_w_W3J_UiFoJdK1NzxpgAB8pqESru4zMMAGv0zaDoSVaRoqhcY3nDoRLvCTfQy7tLg5tRYX9m/s1600/kathy5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYaqlZzwiH0reBRs8-94Q7QjxzEiEiXVvyLcHxuL5B3GFidtxpD8X4eBJJJwueaY5SDTP_w_W3J_UiFoJdK1NzxpgAB8pqESru4zMMAGv0zaDoSVaRoqhcY3nDoRLvCTfQy7tLg5tRYX9m/s400/kathy5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Okay, so what
do we have here? A disabled escort who may or may not be able to give consent. There are
many questions still unanswered; what is her disability? Is she able to give
consent? Is she being sexually assaulted? If she really has the mindset of a
child, as one client suggested, how is she posting advertisements on Backpage
and seeing clients? Is she receiving help from somebody; is she possibly being coerced
by somebody?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">The forum
messages were found in the Fitchburg Massachusetts forum, but we learned from
other postings that Kathy has moved to Leominster, MA. Both of my friends called
the Leominster police station, concerned over what appears to be happening to Kathy. Oh…we are such silly activists, aren’t we? Assuming that the
police will care about a sex worker?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">My friend
spoke to a male police officer who informed her that Kathy has been arrested
several times for being a “common nightwalker,” and that she is not disabled. This
is paraphrased: “Kathy is dumb and stupid, but not mentally disabled. She knows
what she is doing. She is not a victim, she is a criminal and we have been
arresting her for years.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Oh my. That
didn’t go so well, did it? So, the next step was to call Adult Protective
Services, and there is now a case open and an investigation that is supposedly
going to take place. So far, no word back on that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I finally got
fed up and decided to call the Leominster police station myself. I was calm and
articulate, and opened by stating that I am a sex worker rights activist as
well as a therapist and doctoral student. Yes, I was waiving my credentials around
because I knew that perhaps it would help me to be taken seriously. That is the
world that we live in, and it worked. I spoke to a female cop for at least 10
minutes, and she was polite and willing to listen. However, her perspective on
the matter was just as disturbing as the male cop's perspective. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Paraphrase
(this is a conversation that I will probably never forget): After I told the
cop my concern about a developmentally disabled woman being abused, the cop
said “Oh, she’s not a victim, she’s a prostitute and we have arrested her
several times. We are very familiar with Kathy.” Okay take note of the language
used- SHE’S NOT A VICTIM, SHE’S A PROSTITUTE. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I managed to
keep my cool on this one, and informed the woman that anyone can be a victim,
and that it is in fact possible for a prostitute to be raped/assaulted. She stammered a
bit, and went on to explain that Kathy is not disabled in any way. Okay…now we
are getting somewhere! Next, I asked her which psychological evaluations have been conducted to determine that she is not disabled, and where these were
done. The cop said that none had been done, but that the police have had enough
interactions with her to know that she is not disabled. Whoa…wait, what? I wasn’t
aware that cops receive mental health and assessment training. That’s news to
me!Why am I even bothering to get my doctorate in psychology? I could just be a cop. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">She continued
to repeat that Kathy is choosing to post herself online and is engaging in
illegal activity. Therefore, she is not a victim. I attempted to reason with her,
telling her that I understand that prostitution is illegal, and that I am not
disputing the arrests. I am merely concerned that this may be more than just a
case of prostitution, but of a woman who is not able to consent; a woman who is
being taken advantage of. The cop offered to send police officers to Kathy’s
home to “check on her and ask her if she needs help.” She called me back a
couple of hours later, and reported that Kathy told the police officers that
she did not need any assistance. Yeah, no shit. I would not want to deal with a
group of cops that have repeatedly arrested me and referred to be as “dumb” and
“stupid.” That was that, and it was the last that I heard.I was appreciative that the cop took the time to send officers to Kathy's house, and called me back. That is more than I expected.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">My friend has
been in touch with another Leominster cop who has been more helpful, so we are
still waiting to see what the outcome is. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">So, there you
have it. Another fucked up story involving a sex worker and law enforcement. Is anyone surprised? I'm not.</span><br />
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AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-54739699905300409912012-08-14T18:48:00.000-07:002012-08-14T18:48:08.282-07:00What Psychology Has Taught Me About Love & Sex
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DISCLAIMER: If you’re looking for real expert-ish type advice on love and
sex, run. <b>QUICKLY. </b>This is merely a list of things that being a graduate
student of psychology has taught me about love and sex. Or rather, it’s more of
a look inside the demented dating life of a psychology graduate student. I am
currently single, with a string of bad relationships in my wake, so I obviously
haven’t learned much. Actually, it’s more like a list of my failures, and of
things that idiotic men do to piss me off. </div>
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<b>Target audience:</b> Psychologists, therapist,
graduate students, and other cynical like-minded bastards (such as myself). </div>
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Perhaps some of you will find my revelations witty. They came to me
while I was driving home from the liquor store. Here we go:</div>
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Five out of ten potential suitors will say the following when they
learn of your graduate training: “Oh, so does that mean you’re going to try to
analyze me, or something?” The answer (that I say in my mind): “No, you idiot.
You’re not paying me. Also, most women are going to try to analyze you,
regardless of their graduate training. Dolt.” </div>
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<b>Beware of arguments with significant others. The following WILL take
place: </b></div>
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<ul>
<li>Scenario 1: You’ve screwed up (well, he thinks you’ve screwed up).
Either way, you will hear the following: “Wow, how could you not know better?
Aren’t YOU supposed to be the therapist?” </li>
</ul>
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You will never be allowed to make a mistake in your relationship,
because you are a therapist, and this means that you are an all knowing, all
seeing, all powerful master of love and empathy. If you do not live up to this
expectation, you will be hearing it from your partner. </div>
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<ul>
<li>Scenario 2: He screwed up, and you are trying to figure out how this
could have happened. You will hear the following from him: “I’m not your
f!@king patient, stop trying to be my therapist!”</li>
</ul>
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Wait…am I supposed to be a therapist…or not? Shit, now I’m all
confused! </div>
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<b>Important lessons: </b></div>
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Just because you are working with substance abuse patients does not
mean that you need to date an addict. That is NOT part of the training. (LOL,
oops!)</div>
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Similarly, just because you are working with patients that have
personality disorders does not mean that you need to date an Axis II fella.
That is NOT part of the training. (LOL, DOUBLE OOPS!)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Giving an assessment (for shits and giggles, let’s say the SCID-IV) to
a partner seems like a fine idea at the time. You’ll get practice, and maybe
you’ll get to learn some new stuff! WARNING: It seems like fun, until you learn
things that you cannot unlearn. It’s all fun and games until someone comes up
positive! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Your family warns you that if you spend another 34827637246 years in
graduate school, you may never find a husband. Turns out, they may be right.
Also turns out, I don’t give a shit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
When you hate the guy but the sex is great, you may end up dating him.
Why have you convinced yourself that he’s so wonderful? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look to cognitive dissonance for answers. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Your partner will likely be bored to tears when you tell him about your
dissertation. UNLESS (and this likely only applies to me, and a select few) it’s
on the sex industry. Or related to sexuality. Or they think they hear the word “sex”
somewhere in there. Now, all of a sudden, you are assumed to be “slutty,” and
possibly an ex-stripper. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
That’s all for now. I will continue to update this list as I continue
to go on more bad dates and/or get into dysfunctional relationships.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-12490941819014514742012-07-22T19:44:00.000-07:002012-07-23T11:54:46.850-07:00A Hooker's DaughterLast night, I had a lovely time at my friend Bella's house. We had dinner with her daughter and a few of her daughter's friends. Bella's daughter, Jane (not her real name), was kind enough to let me interview her after dinner. Jane is a 20 year old licensed cosmetologist, currently living with Bella, a 47 year old escort. Bella has been a sex worker for almost 30 years, and this is her primary source of income. <br />
<br />
Here's the kicker- Jane knows that her mother is a sex worker. *GASP* Well, according to Shelley Lubben (and several other anti sex work crusaders), sex workers are bad parents. For the record, I saw no used condoms, syringes, dildos or crack pipes. In fact, her house looked quite similar to the one that I grew up in, and Bella looked just like any other mom. Stereotypes be damned!<br />
<br />
Here is a transcript of the interview- Enjoy! <br />
<br />
<b>1. So your moms an escort? What's your understanding of this?
</b><br />
<br />
I understand that she sells her time and companionship. She does that and I understand that she has regular clients. I'm a hair dresser, so I get it. You book times, it's a commodity. Sex sells. Also, I'm proud of my mom because she was a drug user and most moms wouldn't have made it through. I don't judge others, there's a lot of things unjust in this world. Life is unfair. Life choices are just a personal modification of who you are in the end. <br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<b>2. Are you okay with your mother being a sex worker?
</b><br />
<br />
I worry about her well being. I worry that she's alone and I wish she could find someone. I also worry about her history as a drug user; I worry when she's out. I don't judge her sex work. I understand that if I had to pay my bills I wouldn't be afraid to take care of it myself.
<br />
<br />
<b>3. Have you done or seriously considered sex work?
</b><br />
<br />
I've grown up in middle class, and I've also grown up poverty level. If I needed to turn to that, I would do it and wouldn't feel bad about it. I have friends that do that and are models and suicide girls and they're hot, and I don't blame them. They're paid to take off their clothes. I'd consider doing it- using your looks as a skill is the same as using your intellect.
<br />
<br />
<b>4. If you could change one thing about the sex industry, what would it be? </b><br />
<br />
I feel like in my mom's field there's a lot of exploitation. I know there's exploitation of minors. However, why should we be condemning adult sex workers because of what's happening to these 16 year old sex slaves? They're not the same thing. It's like child porn versus adult porn.
<br />
<br />
<b>5. In the way that it has to be regulated?
</b><br />
<br />
Yes, I think so, there should be regulations and laws that we abide by. People have the right to make their own choices, as long as they don't hurt anyone else.
<br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<b>6. Any last words?
</b><br />
<br />
Not really. I think my mom did a pretty good job of raising me, so I don't really give a crap about what anyone thinks. I'm proud of her and who she is.<br />
<br />
Many thanks to Bella's wonderful daughter for the interview! Also, thank you to Bella for cooking and having me over! xo<br />
<br />
Oh, and here's a photo of Bella's table. Check it out; fresh flowers, but no crack pipes! Yes, it's true, sex workers are "normal" people too. Some are addicts, some are not. Same could be said for the rest of the human race. Society needs to stop relying on stereotypes and start LISTENING. Oh and notice the book on the table; Cop to Call Girl by Norma Jean Almodovar. :-)<br />
<h3 class="newaps">
<span class="med reg"><br /> </span></h3>
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<br />AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-13361116259473581792012-07-20T20:31:00.002-07:002012-07-22T07:44:00.702-07:00How To Get Away With RapeHey there. Are you a middle (to upper) class White male? Do you own a suit that you can be photographed in? Are you a member of law enforcement? OH, and perhaps the most important piece of this equation- do you have access to prostitutes? Well then fella, if you're looking to get away with rape, you may be in luck! Just ask 27 year old Daniel Dana, former San Diego police officer. (Actually, you probably don't even need those first 3 criteria- just get a prostitute and you ought to be covered!) <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
In May 2011, Daniel Dana (aka piece of shit excuse for a human) RAPED a prostitute in his patrol car. Some articles refer to it as "coercion," but I see no need to soften the language. Here is a direct quote from <a href="http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/07/former-san-diego-officer-pleads-no-contest-to-lewd-act.html" target="_blank">LA Times</a><br />
<br />
"He had been charged in May 2011 with coercing a 35-year-old prostitute
into having sex with him in his patrol car by threatening to arrest her
if she refused."<br />
<br />
Oh...so he threatened a woman with arrest if she refused to put his penis inside of her. Around these parts, we call that RAPE. Interesting how the article never once uses the word "rape." I suppose "coercion" sounds nicer. Actually, a better explanation is that since this scumbag is/was a cop, he can get away with nearly anything.<br />
<br />
The article in Mercury News had the good sense to label the incident as what it was: "forced." Still, they shy away from the "r-word," until they mention the felony that Dana was originally charged with; "rape under color of authority." The following is from that article, found here <a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_21109972/ex-san-diego-officer-pleads-no-contest-sex" target="_blank">Mercury News </a><br />
<br />
"<span id="mn_Global"><span id="mn_Article">A former San Diego police officer accused of <b>forcing</b> a prostitute to have sex has pleaded no contest to a lesser charge.</span></span><br />
<br />
Dana originally was
charged with felonies including <b>rape</b> under color of authority.
Prosecutors claim he threatened to send a prostitute he knew to jail in
May unless she had sex with him. <span id="mn_Global"><span id="mn_Article"></span></span><br />
The woman said she was scared into having sex with him at a park.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">Dana's lawyer argued they had consensual sex. Prosecutor
Annette Irving says a plea deal was struck because of concerns about
whether a jury would be able to agree that a <span style="color: red;">prostitute</span> had been raped."</span></span> </b></div>
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<b><span style="color: black;">Um...WHAT? </span></b></div>
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<span style="color: black;">No, really, WHAT?! It's 2012, and yet there are still members of our society (also referred to as idiots) who do not understand this simple concept- ANYONE CAN BE RAPED. </span></div>
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<span style="color: black;">Try this fun exercise: Take the word "prostitute"<b> </b>(highlighted in red for your convenience)<b> </b>and replace it with another noun. Suggestions: married woman, male, transgendered individual, minority, husband, stripper, black woman, porn star. </span></div>
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<span style="color: black;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<span style="color: black;">So, did you enjoy the exercise? Did some of those nouns make you more uncomfortable than others when placed into the sentence? Angrier than others? Well, my point is that ANYONE CAN BE RAPED. Yes...even whores. </span></div>
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<span style="color: black;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #cc0000;">
<span style="color: black;">Oh, and that our legal system is truly pathetic. Fucking pathetic. </span></div>AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-25947073990752852522012-07-15T19:08:00.000-07:002012-07-15T19:08:21.780-07:00How To Advocate For Sex Workers<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">There is a lot going on right now in the
world of sex-worker advocacy, and I’ve been a lazy bum when it comes to
updating this blog. I know, shame on me. I need a spanking. Anyways, here are a
couple of important and current issues that I would like to highlight, which
other brilliant writers have thankfully already tackled. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">First, the good news:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Stella Marr, exposed as the liar and
fraud that she is. Thank goodness, FINALLY!!! This is the same woman who wrote
an article referring to me and a few other activists as “pimps.” That’s right, apparently
I’m a pimp who trafficks and abuses sex workers. It was a great excuse to
listen to Jay-Z all day. Don’t ever forget, “ladies is pimps too.” I won’t say
any more than that, since Maggie McNeill has done a fantastic job of covering
the issue. <a href="http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2012/07/09/tangled-web/%20%20%20" target="_blank">Tangled Web</a></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Ok, now the bad news: </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">A 22 year old escort who goes by “Maya”
was arrested this past week, and subjected to humiliation by law enforcement. I
wish that I could say that I am surprised, but I am not. We see this all too
often with sex workers and law enforcement, and it’s fucking sickening. I
anxiously wait for the day when cops are no longer able to get away with murder
(using this as a figure of speech, although I am sure there are many MANY
incidences where it’s also the truth) just because they are cops. Why are so
many cops assholes? Well, because they can be- simple as that. Why do we keep
allowing this? Fear? Laziness? Lack of resources? All of the above? </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">You can read about Maya’s arrest in this
interview from the Bay Guardian <a href="http://www.sfbg.com/politics/2012/07/11/caught-fbis-net-extended-interview%20%20%20" target="_blank">Maya Interview </a></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Okay, now time for me to rant. I am the
moderator of a closed Facebook group (closed, meaning that it’s not open to the
public- one needs my permission to join) called Working Towards a Sex Positive
World. The group has over 200 members, many of which are current/former sex
workers, and we have lively and productive discussions every single day about
issues relevant to sex worker’s rights. I’m proud to say that it has been a
place where sex workers and allies have shared stories, resources, tips, and
found support. I have met several of the members in person, and have developed
lasting bonds within this community. Hell, I even found a partner! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Today, I watched as several of the group
members bickered, which ended in a thread of 379 comments (and still going
strong!), some of which were my own (of course, I can’t resist an intellectual
debate). After this went on for a few hours, I realized what a waste of time
this had been. I wrote “</span><span class="commentbody">Hey everyone, as
entertaining (and alarming) as this thread is- here's an idea. Let's all get
off of facebook and go do something to help sex workers, rather than wasting
time arguing. That sounds like a brilliant idea to me. What does everyone else
think? Here are some possible ideas (insert ideas here, will write out below) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>. I can try to dig up more ideas, I came up
wtih these on the fly. Mostly because I am saddened to see so many intelligent
individuals wasting so much time arguing in this group.</span>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span class="commentbody">If you sit around whining/bickering/sharing
links on Facebook/Twitter, you are not an activist. Thankfully, I know that I
am not offending any of the group members by making that statement, because
everyone who engaged in that ridiculous thread also does a lot for the sex work
community. I still feel it important to make this point, perhaps for those who
do not understand what “real” activism is. I have re-written the list in a more
organized fashion, and urge others to add to it. These are just some ideas, a
limited list that I came up with rather quickly. Please comment here to add to
it, because I know there’s hundreds that I am missing. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<ul>
<li><span class="commentbody">Start a blog. Write about sex worker's rights, and send it to as many people as you can. Get people talking. </span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Find your local SWOP chapter, and volunteer. Donate some time and ideas. Perhaps help create a new workshop. </span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Spread the word about sex worker-related charities, and donate if you have the means. (examples below)</span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Read about the Long Island serial killer, and donate towards the reward for his capture. Read more here- <a href="http://articles.cnn.com/2011-01-25/justice/new.york.bodies_1_first-body-fourth-body-serial-killer?_s=PM:CRIME" target="_blank">LI Serial Killer</a> Reach out to the family's of the victims, offer support. Educate others on the fact that just because someone in a sex worker does not make their life any less valuable.</span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody"> Another sex worker project- spread the word and donate if possible <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/himab/license-to-pimp-documentary" target="_blank">Fund License to Pimp Documentary </a></span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Educate others on the difference between sex trafficking and sex work. These terms are conflated all of the time. Find an event to protest. Write a letter explaining the difference to an author who may not know better. </span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Stay current on anti sex work trends, and PROTEST them. Examples- abolitionists seeking to get rid of the Backpage section of Village Voice. </span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">March in Slutwalk, speak out! </span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Host a sex work friendly workshop, in which you educate others about safety tips, or any other number of relevant topics that may be helpful to sex workers </span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Reach out to a sex worker who's been treated unfairly, such as Maya, who I mentioned above. Even just a short email can offer the empathy and kindness that can help somebody through a difficult time. </span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">If you are in the position to teach others, talk about sex worker issues in your class. Example- do you teach Psych of Gender? Human Sexuality? Sex worker's rights would fit into the curriculum- make others aware! </span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Get involved with what is happening in California's porn industry- the condom mandate, the destruction of crazy Shelley Lubben's Pink Cross Foundation (just a couple of examples)</span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Go make a documentary that relates to sex worker activism</span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Support your local harm reduction clinics and sex worker-friendly testing facilities </span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Go to your local strip club, throw some dollars down! (lol, had to put that in there!) </span></li>
<li><span class="commentbody">Stop pirating pornography (ugh, I am also guilty of this, but it IS wrong!) Watch this PSA- <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U114qDMORFM" target="_blank">FSC All-Star Anti-Piracy PSA</a> </span></li>
</ul>
<span class="commentbody">ADD TO THIS LIST! Okay, that is all I could come up with tonight. I will keep adding to the list, feel free to send suggestions (AND TO DO SOME OF THESE THINGS!) </span><br />
<span class="commentbody"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="commentbody"><br /></span><br />
<br />
<span class="commentbody"> </span>AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-79613101744104505972012-06-23T19:22:00.001-07:002012-06-23T19:22:38.163-07:00Guest Post: 30 Years As A Sex Worker & Proud<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b>The following is written by Mrs. Robinson, who has worked as a sex worker for almost 30 years. She is still working as a sex worker, and speaks out actively for sex worker's rights.</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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I think we can all agree the reason prostitution has always
existed and always will, is because of poverty. We are living in a recession
where our system is set up that you’re lucky to find a job paying 8 to 10 bucks
an hour. Sex workers are not willing to work for wages that don't begin to
cover their basic expenses. 1 out of 5 families in the US are on food stamps,
which proves we are not being paid wages that cover basic living expenses. We
have thousands of homeless and unemployed and all we have done for years is cut
services and increase the number of non-violent prisoners; with the war on weed
and prostitution. This is a HUGE business for law enforcement, and people like
Dr Farley who make their living by collecting donations for victims, while
providing these victims with no services. Then we allow the justice dept to
fund 30% of Dr. Melissa Farley's fraud scheme, by creating public hysteria
about teens being exploited. We have uncovered that this was all JUNK SCIENCE
and a complete fraud, and still even the media refuses to print the truth.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</div>
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In 2010 we spend 250 million for law enforcement to stalk
and arrested 80,000 people for prostitution. Less than 1% were underage.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</div>
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I see the governments criminalizing sex workers because they
refuse to be exploited for wages they can't live on. Our whole system is set up
to punish sex workers and run them out of their own communities. We give them
criminal records so they are forces to stay in the sex industry. And make them
lose what little stability they have struggled to create for themselves and
their families.<br />
<br />
Let’s look at how society punishes those who won't submit to their ideas. We
criminalize sex workers so they can never get gainful employment again. We SEAL
THEIR FATE. We also allow law enforcement to stalk, harass, abuse them, jail
them and fine them. Law enforcement also refuses to investigate violent crimes
against sex workers. 1000's of US sex workers are murdered each year, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>10's of 1,000's are being raped each year. We
allow this injustice by this insane idea that saving a few teens from being
exploited is more important than all the dead bodies being left in the wake. We
encourage HATE CRIMES against sex workers by promoting "they get what they
deserve attitudes".<br />
<br />
Prostitution laws were created as public nuisance ordinances, to "stop a
woman from showing her wares in public", they were never intended to be
enforced, by stalking adult women online down to their homes, to police their
sex lives. We have created prostitute free zones, and even though they were ruled
as unconstitutional, they are still creating new ones. The courts have ruled
that Craigslist and Southwest companions are legal websites, yet the attorney
generals office and law enforcement are still on the MORAL WITCH HUNT.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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We have created laws that stop sex workers from receiving
any public money, even though these women are tax payers and citizens. We do
this by not allowing any federal dollars to go to any group who does not oppose
all forms of prostitution. Therefore many of these women are forced to stay in
sex work.</div>
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REALITY:<br />
We can't police even 1% of the adult industry on a good day, so they punish the
sex workers further by publishing their names and addresses. We allow law
enforcement to police this one law with more zest than any other.<br />
<br />
THERE IS A SOLUTION:<br />
If law enforcement and the attorney generals office would do their jobs, they
would be advocating to decriminalize indoor prostitution, between consenting
adults as a harm reduction strategy to protect both sex workers and exploited
teens. They would create laws requiring both parties to check the ID of the
other, before engaging in any sex act. Then we would create laws that said
anytime a man is caught having sex with a minor, they would get 25 years. This
would shut down pimps at an alarming rate, because the only men that would not
check ID would be the PREDATORS. All adult sex workers, or member of the
community, would be free to report knowledge of any minors or women who are
under another persons control. Sex workers would be able to report crimes
against themselves and expect police assistance, and they would legally we
allowed to pay taxes, without the fear of the FED"S charging them with
money laundering, or the MANN act, if they happen to have crossed a state line.<br />
<br />
I will never understand why any women who claims to be a feminist does not
agree that all adults should have the right to make decisions over their own
bodies, sexualities and their personal affairs with other consenting adults in
private. These are basic civil rights, that we have taken away by created many
unconstitutional laws.<br />
<br />
Getting back to poverty. Its really easy to judge others, and sex workers are
not looking for anyone’s approval, we simply want to be able to co-exist. I
know if anyone one of us was cold and hungry enough, that they could be
convinced to turn a trick for a burger and a blanket.<br />
<br />
Matthew 21:31<br />
Truthfully be told, prostitutes will enter the Kingdom of God, before most who
call themselves Christians.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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Hating on HOOKERS is society's need to misplace their own
SHAME, for BULLYING OTHERS to CONFIRM + SUBMIT TO THEIR IDEAS.<br />
<br />
This was written by Mrs. Robinson, who has worked as sex worker, in the adult
industry for almost 30 years.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzBpqrSxWKAV6UuIccBWigz0zuCgBg8zzeDWAdN3LqpHO9-VgXQXIkVGP2x-7Mdku2kiqFOVzCnIW3h6y67wS6Kp7qPVlphu3rQUBZJIQUxuQoU6t7YD4NRkYqHaQ350yy9VbK-wgGVC4I/s1600/choice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzBpqrSxWKAV6UuIccBWigz0zuCgBg8zzeDWAdN3LqpHO9-VgXQXIkVGP2x-7Mdku2kiqFOVzCnIW3h6y67wS6Kp7qPVlphu3rQUBZJIQUxuQoU6t7YD4NRkYqHaQ350yy9VbK-wgGVC4I/s400/choice.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5384525667719730426.post-2923975393420643332012-06-21T18:09:00.000-07:002012-06-21T18:09:58.975-07:00"Girls Against Porn" Make Me Want to Vomit<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In order to be against something, one has to know what he/she is
against, correct? So, to be against porn would mean that one has either consumed
it, been a part of it, or somewhere in the middle, right? Well, I guess anyone
can say that they are “against” something, but if they have no knowledge of the
subject, then they probably aren’t a credible source. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There’s a group called “Girls Against Pornography,” and I’ve been
noticing their idiotic tweets more and more. Then, it struck me. GIRLS against
porn? Um…why do girls (minors) even have that strong of an opinion on
pornography? Who is letting these minors watch pornography, and who the hell
let that one slip under the radar? I began to feel very alarmed, and wondered
if I should call in a report of child abuse and possible involvement with child
pornography. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Then, it occurred to me that perhaps this group is actually
comprised of adult women, but prefer to refer to them as “girls.” Strange,
right? Are they menopausal women in denial of their declining beauty and rising
ages? Is it comforting to refer to themselves as girls? OR (the most plausible
explanation) does this group prefer to use the term “girls” because they view
all women (regardless of age) as young and defenseless? Ok, now we’re getting
somewhere! Perhaps that is the root of the problem. How else can one explain a
group of women that doesn’t believe in a woman’s right to her own body? </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But wait…then something even crazier happened. GAP (lol great
acronym for an anti-porn group- thank you Chris Evans for pointing that out)
sent out one of the most naïve tweets that I have seen in a LONG while. For
their sake, I hope that they actually girls because I can’t accept the fact
that grown women would say something so stupid and inaccurate. GAP (hahaha
never gets old!) was tweeting some bullshit about protesting Backpage. I
tweeted them and asked what their solution would be if Backpage disappears, and
sex workers continue to be forced further underground, resulting in even more
harm and violence. Their response- “Its called getting a 9-5 job…Like the rest
of the world has to; plenty of groups who would help them.” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">WOW. There are so many problems with that one tweet- where to
begin?! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Perhaps these “girls” should start approaching homeless people and
saying “Hey, why don’t you just go get a job!? There are PLENTY of resources
for someone such as yourself.” Fucking idiots- that’s the only way to describe
this group. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Maybe these “girls” need to take a moment to remove their heads
out of their asses and take a look around. There are people who have doctorate
degrees who cannot find work. Our economy is shit. Yet, they think it is so
easy to go out and find a 9-5 job! Oh, and expect that the job will pay just as
much as sex work. Sure, get real “girls.” Someone needs to knock the silver
spoons out of your mouths and bring you into the real world. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Also, where are these groups that are willing to help?? I tweeted
them asking for the name of even ONE, and got no response. Perhaps I am wrong-
do these groups exist? Is there an organization that takes ex-sex workers and
gives them the resources possible to land a 9 to 5 job? Resources including
money while searching for a job, money for higher education, someone to babysit
the children while they’re at work for 8 hours a day, I could go on. Or- how
about this- SEX WORK IS REAL WORK AND MANY WOMEN AND MEN ACTUALLY CHOOSE TO DO
IT! Some women would rather have sex making $400 an hour, rather than scrubbing
toilets for 40 hours to make the same amount (and it wouldn’t even be the same
amount. It’d likely be less). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So “girls,” where are these groups? These resources? Perhaps the
broke and desperate Pink Cross Foundation? Shelley Lubben is so broke that she’s
on Facebook begging for donations. Yeah, good luck with that “help.” Perhaps
Shelley should stop stealing and begging and get a 9-5 job as well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Brilliant work, “girls.” Thank you for proving that white privilege
is alive and well, and that some people in this country really don’t understand
the economic, political, and social climate that exists. Sex work IS work, and
for some, it’s the best option. For some, it may be the only option. For
others, it’s an occupation that they truly love and wouldn’t give up for
anything. Stop stigmatizing sex workers, and get out on the streets and
actually fucking help someone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Here is the tweet-</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqcDLiWxebrlQSputlpDIQCZBSUoLFP_lPuK2erHV8F5Pt9G0BovcmZwkfsagfAHJ0k1GdbtratasOn5dhWc0zel5n2xlMEfL0iroMhRMtU-id3m37hrfnSDrT4TaZn0l1Urgm24BWzGVc/s1600/gap.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqcDLiWxebrlQSputlpDIQCZBSUoLFP_lPuK2erHV8F5Pt9G0BovcmZwkfsagfAHJ0k1GdbtratasOn5dhWc0zel5n2xlMEfL0iroMhRMtU-id3m37hrfnSDrT4TaZn0l1Urgm24BWzGVc/s640/gap.png" width="426" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>AdvocateGrrrlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09567298562861217146noreply@blogger.com29