Don't You Feel Used? Guest Post # 2

I am SO pleased to announce that we have received our second guest post from one of our incredible readers! I've only been accepting guest posts for 3 days, and I've already received two! So, for everyone who insists that women in sex work and the sex industry don't have a choice, or a voice, this guest post is for you. To all the "feminists" who deny the existence of women who CHOOSE to be involved in the sex industry, this post if for you. I've spent my entire day speaking to "feminists" who tell me that my work is immoral, and that I am "supporting the patriarchy and suppressing women." Seriously? Give me a fucking break.

I'm doing the opposite of that. I'm giving women a voice- women in the SEX INDUSTRY. Yeah, get over it, the sex industry. Women who fuck on camera for a living. Women who work in brothels. Women who work as escorts. Women who masterbate on a webcam. Women who work in strip clubs. Women who get paid to cum. Women who get paid to offer their time, company, and conversation. They are used to hearing "you're just a whore," "you have sex on camera? wow, don't you feel used?" "are you supporting a drug habit?" among other things. Well, they're sick of hearing it and they want you to hear their side of the story.

So, here is guest post # 2. The writer requested that I post it anonymously, and of course I will honor that request. She sent a picture to go along with it, and that is posted below the entry.

Thank you so much for your bravery and for your help with this important project. Xoxo, Page

Untitled

 I met a sex worker when I was six years old. Back then I didn’t know she was a sex worker. She was a beautiful and friendly woman. People treated her differently I noticed, however I couldn’t put my finger on how exactly they treated her differently. Perhaps it was just something I sensed. I overheard my parents discussing how this woman was a ‘working girl’. I didn’t know they meant sex worker. I assumed that meant any woman with any job was a working girl. I never thought about it a great deal after that, and I had no idea that one day I would be a working girl too.

 When I was fourteen, I read an article in Cosmopolitan magazine about a woman who worked her away around the world as a prostitute. At this stage in my life I hadn’t even had sex, but I thought ‘I could totally do that!’. Although in saying that, travel was not a motivating factor when I did venture into the industry.

 I started working as a sex worker just after my seventeenth birthday. I had a fairly expensive drug addiction at the time and was having problems with the law. No one ever pushed me into sex work. I must be clear about that. I was never the kind of girl who believed love and sex to be mutually exclusive. Which led to think why give it away for free?? In the beginning I really didn’t know what I was doing, and I was unaware of the power I could ultimately wield.  Over time the people I was working for began to treat me worse and worse, however I won’t delve too deeply into that can of worms now. After I turned 18, I was able to legally advertise, so I left and began to work for myself. It was incredible! I was making more money than I knew what to do with, I could choose my own hours. My mantra was the line Julia Roberts says in pretty woman- “I say who, I say where, I say how much.’ 

The clients fascinated me. All so different, yet with so many similarities. I loved learning about my body, what turned me on, what I reacted to, what repulsed me. And I loved learning about their bodies, and their minds, their fears, their desires, their troubles. I loved having my body worshiped, and sometimes my mind too. In end I worked in the sex industry for a total of six consecutive years. I started my journey of giving up drugs about a year before I left the industry. I really enjoyed my time in the industry and look back on it with fondness, and no regrets. I have experienced trauma in my life, but not due to the sex industry. A lot of frightening things happened to me in the drug scene, but even those I do not regret. 

I love who I am today, and I am an accumulation of my experiences. Thank god I have been able to choose how I want to live. The worst thing about working as a sex worker was not how I felt about it, it was other people felt about it. Words like disgusting, dirty, slut, whore. Questions like ‘don’t you feel used?’ ‘Don’t you feel ashamed?’ ‘How can you do that for money?’ ‘Don’t you feel degraded?’ Well, in a nutshell, No I don’t and never have felt ashamed. I have felt more used by boyfriends-which society says is ok- than I ever did my clients. How can I do that for money? I’d rather do that than work at McDonalds! And no, I don’t feel degraded. I have felt more used, degraded and under-appreciated in mainstream employment than I ever did a sex worker. I suppose you are wondering why did I leave the industry then? Many reasons. I have a daughter now, and while I may share with her one day my experiences, I don’t want her to have to deal with society’s views of what her mother once did for a living. And I guess I’ve just changed. I no longer have the energy.

 When I have sex now, because I’m not working, I can be more concerned with my own pleasure. Well, I’m going to wrap this up now, because I could probably ramble on about this topic forever!!

Ciao xx