A guest submission by anonymous:
Pussy. Twat. Vagina. Cunt. Cum Dumpster. Receptacle. Clam.
Fuckhole. Slit.
Those are some of the commonplace words used to describe my vagina on
camera.
Some of the words are okay, and other freaks me out. My genitalia is not
seafood. However, it is a cunt. Twat. Pussy. Hole. Those are some of the terms
that I frequently use while performing on camera. I’m a sex worker. I’m a webcam
performer. Webcam model. Cam slut. Cam Whore. Adult entertainer.
Those are some of the terms that I, and others, commonly use to refer
to this line of work.
This work, the sex work. Routine, ready?
5-10 minutes of make-up
10 minutes of hair
5 minutes of putting on high heels and panties (possibly 10-15 minutes
for complicated lingerie)
2 minutes of calculating how much money I need to make that evening to
meet my weekly personal goal
10 minutes of tweeting, social networking, and getting the word out.
GUYS…I’M COMING ON! COME SEE THIS PUSSY IN ACTION! Tweet tweet blah blah skype
tweet twat twitter twatter. I have a bill to pay. I have a textbook to
purchase. My dog needs food. I want a new purse. Rent is due.
Webcam modeling/performing/porning/whoring/whatever is my only source of income. It is my job. I get ready to go to work. I
have a somewhat regular schedule, I have clientele, I have “regulars,” I have merchandise
to sell. I have a product to push. I had advertising to do. I have
responsibilities. I pay taxes. I keep receipts.
I pay every single one of my bills, and then some, with this income. I
live in an expensive apartment, and I am not frugal. I need
vacations and sushi to be content. My family does not respect my work. My
mother says it is “dirty money.” My friends, a mixed bag. Some are very
supportive, some are disgusted, and a few have gotten into the business
themselves. The disgusted ones are always the most fascinating. They never come
right out with their disgust; it’s always covert.
“It’s great that YOU do THAT but I could NEVER show my vagina to the
whole world. I don’t know, it just feels wrong.”
“Ha, well if I ever drop out of school, at least I can fall back on
that!”
“Ew, do you have to SEE the guys who pay you? That sounds gross!”
Whatever.
I’m a sex worker. I put things in my vagina for money. Sometimes, I
even put them in my ass. If I’m feeling REALLY frisky, I put things in both
holes…AT ONCE! I can be your sub, your dom, your nasty slave bitch, your mistress,
your sex educator. I can let you worship my feet, I can humiliate you. I can
make you feel like you’re the most powerful man on earth. I can wear my panties
all day long, and then ship them to your door in a ziplock baggie. I can dance
for you. I can make custom videos for you, (insert name here).
I can do all of these things and more, for a price.
I am a sex worker, and last time I checked, I am also a human
being.
I have a family. I have friends. I have a pet. I have lovers. I have
ex-lovers. I have loves. I have colleagues. I have hobbies. I have a fucking
pulse.
I enjoy my job. I am blessed,
lucky, entitled. Certain things in my life have fallen into place and have
allowed me to be a sex worker in the cushy end of the hierarchy. Yeah, that
hierarchy exists and it’s fucked up. More on that another day.
Regardless, in a lot of ways, I am lucky. Without sex work, I would be living a very different life. I would be drowning in student loans. I would be depressed.
As with most jobs, there are down sides.
There are many men AND woman in this world that believe that I am
worthless. As a sex worker, I have been
called:
Dirty. Diseased. Uneducated. Ignorant. BB. Filthy. Ugly. Fat.
STD-Infested. Bitch. Old. Too chunky. Too skinny. Tramp. Dyke. Slag. Slut. Retarded.
Cunt.
I have: No morals. Dead parents. A father who must hate me. A father
who must have molested me. A hatred for men. Loose lips. A loose pussy. Loose
morals. No morals. Weird tattoos. An ugly nose. A flat ass.
I am: Going to hell. Pathetic. Going to regret this. Never capable of
doing any more than this. Deserving of rape. Worthless. An idiot. Not even
worth being paid. A sinner.
I hear those words, those accusations, those dirty disgusting filthy
things every week. Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Yearly. All too often. If you’re a
sex worker, I bet you do too.
People hate me. Society wishes that I would disappear. Society assumes
that I have sex with every single human that I come into contact with. They assume
that I have herpes, crabs, chlamydia, HIV. They assume that I am a crack
addict. There is nothing wrong with having an illness or an addiction. However,
why should it be assumed that I have any of these things, merely based on my
choice of occupation?
The feminists are the most perplexing; the type that tell me that I’m
perpetuating hate against women, that I am the patriarchy. That I am
brainwashed, I am coerced. I am doing the wrong thing with my pussy. Wait, isn’t
is MY pussy though? The feminists are often VERY perplexing.
People get very angry with me. They send me random hateful tweets. I’ve
had my name published on websites. I’ve had people threaten to expose my
personal information. All because I’m a webcam performer. And yet…
The most fascinating piece of the puzzle…
Consistently, every week, I make a lot of money. I have thousands of
viewers, and hundreds of tippers. Society wishes I would disappear, but SOMEONE
is paying me to stick around. In fact, it seems that A LOT of people are paying
me to stick around. They sent me gifts. They send me jewelry. Household items.
Gift cards for food. Money on Christmas. Money on my birthday. Money to pay
every single bill. I wager that they will continue to do so.
To be loved, adored, and admired. To be hated, resented, verbally degraded. Every
day, every week. It’s quite the dichotomy.
I am a sex worker. I love my job, and I wish society would get off my fucking back about it.
