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Hello friends and advocates,

Seriously, I'm sorry to do this. I know it's cheesy and lame, but I put a paypal donation button on the blog today. Why? Well, I'm a graduate student...'nuff said. If you enjoy my blog and the work that I'm doing, feel free to buy me a coffee, or a 3-pack of condoms! Or, do your part by simply sharing my blog and enjoying it :)

Much love & many thanks to my readers

xoxo

Page

I Was A Gay Male Sex Worker

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Santorum & Porn

According to Rick Santorum, porn is evil, and it will send us all to hell. I already have a mild sunburn from too much time spent on the beach this week, so I’m not thrilled about the idea of burning in hell for eternity. I’m also not thrilled with the idea of giving up porn.

Santorum claims that pornography causes violence in women, brain changes in adults and children, and the destruction of marriages. Hmm…interesting. Where is the empirical evidence to back this up? Has Santorum ever bothered to even read the research on the topic? Probably not. 

I also find it very difficult to believe that ANYONE would believe these ridiculous claims without some evidence to back them up. Do politicians expect that the American people will believe anything that they say, regardless of how outlandish it sounds? Sign me up to be a politician! I’m going to start going around telling people that I’m the daughter of God, and that for a hefty donation to my bank account, I can put in a good word to pops.

Ok, let’s get back on track. Santorum says that pornography CAUSES all of these evil things. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that correlation does not equal causation. In other words, even if correlational studies find that pornography viewing is correlated with violence, one cannot make any assumptions about “cause.” Just because X is related to Y does not mean that X caused Y. Santorum, it’s time to take a course in research design.

I skimmed through some of the research that’s been done on this topic, and found a few interesting studies on the topic. Here are some of the findings:

Davies, K. A. (1997). Voluntary exposure to pornography and men's attitudes toward feminism and rape. TheJowal ofSexResearch, 34(2). 131-137.

Here’s a study that examined the relationship between men’s use of porn and their attitudes towards feminism and rape. The study was specifically interested in seeing if there is a connection between men who watch porn and attitudes of violence towards women, versus those who do not watch porn. No significant correlations found.

Alexandra, S., Vatroslav, J. & Jan, R.  (2008). Is early exposure to pornography a risk factor for sexual compulsivity? Findings from an online survey among young heterosexual adults. International Journal of Sexual Health, 20, 270-280.

Here’s a study that examined the relationship between early exposure to porn and sexual compulsivity in 1,528 men and women, ages 18-25. No correlations were found between porn viewing and sexual compulsivity, for either gender.

Barak, A., Fisher, W.A., Belfry, S. & Lashambe, D.R. (1999) Sex, guys, and cyberspace. Effects of internet pornography and individual differences on men’s attitudes toward women. Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 11, 63-91.

Here’s a study that examined the effects of exposure to porn on attitudes towards women in undergraduate males. There was no relationship between exposure to porn and misogynistic attitudes among the sample.

Ok, so that’s only three studies, and there’s plenty more out there. I’m sure there are also studies that show the opposite, but here’s the thing- NO study can claim that X causes Y.

Also, where the hell is the research that shows that porn “causes” brain changes in children? Did someone actually get approval to show porn to children? I would find that hard to believe, but if it’s out there, someone please send it to me.  xoxo, Page

Faking it for a living

My Tale of Degradation

It’s not easy being a sex worker rights advocate, although I am growing accustomed to hearing “but it’s so degrading to women!” on a daily basis. Yeah, I get it- you’re outraged that a woman could even suggest that sex workers have a CHOICE in the matter. You tell me that there is no such thing as choice when it comes to sex work, and that porn performers/strippers/prostitutes are all victims. You assume that you know what’s best for every single woman in the world, and if she doesn’t agree with you, then she’s just ill with the fever of patriarchy.

It’s the same song over and over again, I get it.

Are there victims of sex trafficking out there in the world? Of course there are, and sex worker rights advocates aren’t blind to this. We just want everyone else to realize that sex trafficking is NOT THE SAME as sex work. Rather than working against one another, perhaps the sex worker rights advocates & prostitution abolitionists should come together and build on common ground.

Additionally, are there sex workers who feel degraded by their occupation? Women who would choose another line of work if they had the option? OF COURSE. Please stop assuming that all sex workers feel this way.

Now we have Santorum running around talking about the dangers of porn, give me a fucking break. Seriously, is the world ending? Are politicians growing stupider by the hour? #STFUsantorum

Now, let me tell you my own story of degradation. Yup, self-disclosure. Ready? I hope you don’t judge me for the story that I am about to tell you…

I’ll set the stage for you- a typical night at work. I worked there a couple of years ago, when I was in my early twenties and broke as hell. I didn’t enjoy what I was doing, but it was the best way that I knew how to make money at the time. Quick, fast cash in my hand at the end of every shift.

I will never forget the way my stomach used to feel as I’d drive to work. Dread, pure fucking dread. Even as I write this, I can feel the bowling ball forming in the pit of my stomach. Fuck that job. Fuck those awful customers.

Anyways, it was good money, and that’s why I did it. Night after night, breasts hanging out, catering to my customers, trying to just focus on the dollar bills that were being flung my way. I can’t emphasize to you enough how much I fucking hated it, but when I’d leave work with $400 worth  of damp dollar bills in my hand, it’d be worth it. Sort of.

Guys would talk to me, and I would feign interest. I didn’t give a fuck about their lives, jobs, wives, worries. I just wanted them to disappear, but I had to act interested to get those dollar bills. I faked it well; that was my job.

There was a lot of petty drama between the other girls, I tried to not get involved. It all seemed so catty and ridiculous. I would go in, make my money, and get the fuck out. When people asked me where I worked, I would lie; I didn’t want them to know that I worked in such a shithole. I felt embarrassed. I felt degraded.

Those were the worst years of my life. I am so happy that I got out of that industry. Now that I look back, I wish I’d been a stripper instead. I would have felt less degraded than being…a bartender.

Yeah, a bartender, not a sex worker. I know…you think only sex workers feel degraded, but I would have felt less degraded as a sex worker.

Open your eyes, open your mind. Stop speaking for sex workers.