I’ve had one abortion. There, I said it. Are you shocked, a tad disgusted? Uncomfortable? Perhaps stunned that a young successful woman would dare admit this on a public blog? Well, then we are in good company, because I’m a bit shocked myself.
Ok, so why am I telling you all this? Let’s begin with Project Unbreakable I frequent this site daily, and I think it’s fucking spectacular. Project Unbreakable is a place where men and women can come together and publicly (whether anonymously or not) share their stories of sexual abuse. Although victims of abuse should be able to tell their stories without shame, many are unable to.
“Was she really raped, or do you think she just says it for attention?”
“Okay I understand that she was raped once or twice by different men. But c’mon, five different times? At that point, you gotta wonder what she was doing wrong.”
“I’m not saying it was right, but look at what she was wearing.”
You get the point- and it’s fucked up. Sexual assault is painful, shameful, and very difficult to recover from. It is not a choice. Abortion can also be painful, shameful, and difficult to recover from. It is usually a choice (if that choice is even available). However, it is still a painful experience that women should be able to discuss publicly without fear of ridicule or condemnation. Is it the distinction between choice and lack of choice that makes one a tad more acceptable to discuss openly?
Perhaps. However, are we living in a society where a victim can openly speak about sexual violence without being judged? In my experience, no.
Here’s my point- as a woman, I am sick of having to remain silent about certain experiences. Experiences that have shaped me, hurt me, and created me. Why should I be ashamed for an abortion? Society tells women that only whores have abortions. Women who are going to hell have abortions. Bitches have abortions. Grab your sunblock baby because we are going to fry for an eternity!
I’m sick of reading all of these pro-life arguments/articles and feeling shamed for my choice. I am a 26 year old doctoral student. I don’t have time for a baby. Sound harsh? Yes. Is it the truth? Yes. I want to write, I want to study, I want to counsel, I want to teach, I want to travel. It just didn’t fit into my plans, and it was a choice that I made. I was thankful that I even had a choice in the matter.
Was it a pleasant experience? No, of course it fucking wasn’t. It was physically painful, and mentally/emotionally draining. Do I regret it? Nope. That’s right, I’m capable of thinking in shades of grey.
Sorry if this entry offended. I’m just sick of walking on eggshells. I am a woman, and I have made choices in my life. I should be able to talk about those without feeling ashamed; we all should. This post is for every woman who has had an abortion, but holds her secret close to her heart. For every woman who has had an abortion, but stays silent around the pro-lifers. For every woman who is sick of receiving no support from our society.
Shit happens, and it’s not always pleasant. It is what it is. I won’t be shamed.