My Experience At A Feminist Conference: On Censorship, Objectification, & What It Means For Me

I'm writing this as I sit and wait for my flight, watching planes take off over the mountains of Salt Lake City. This would be a serene moment, if it were not for the rumbling of my upset stomach after eating McDonalds for breakfast. As if I don't already know better. Anyways, I am heading home after spending a wonderful five days at the Association for Women in Psychology (AWP) conference, where I presented my project, "Sexism, Strippers, and Slut-Shaming," as part of a symposium. I was fortunate to spend time with former professors and colleagues that I haven't seen since leaving Connecticut. I was pleasantly surprised with Salt Lake City. My stereotypes were in full force when the plane touched down, and the woman who sat behind me rambling about the evils of welfare did not help. In reality, the city wasn't the scary Republican hellhole that I had imagined. We enjoyed good shopping (maybe too much shopping?), food (I tried Lebanese AND Himalayan food!), and of course several thought-provoking lectures as part of AWP.

The conversations that were had in these feminist spaces were stimulating, but not always comfortable. I found myself constantly vacillating between "Yes, I'm a feminist" and "No, my ideals don't fit with traditional feminist ideology, so therefore, I am not a feminist." The topic of violence in the media came up over dinner conversation, which led to a discussion of Rhianna and Chris Brown's newly rekindled romance. The knee-jerk reaction always being the same; "they're terrible, he's an abuser, she hasn't made any public statements that would help young women, they're setting a bad example, her lyrics are glorifying violence against women." At least one of these statements was my own, and I'm not disputing the validity of any of them. I'm not interested in having that sort of discussion or writing about it. That's not what this is about. This is about the proposed solutions. Just as many radical feminists (ahem, Gail Dines) would love to see porn censored, there are feminists who would like to see this couple, and their music, disappear. I will admit that I became defensive during the discussion, reminding everyone that shame and censorship DO NOT WORK.

Other points of interest- do her lyrics really glorify what happened to her? Who are we to judge her words, her art? Who the fuck cares what she's glorifying/not glorifying; in a community that values free speech, shouldn't this woman be allowed to express herself, and her pain, in whatever medium she chooses? Whose responsibility is it to make sure that young "impressionable" women don't hear these messages? What about starting in the home, and with education? The same could be said of porn. Porn is not meant to be used as sex education, and if it is, then we have a problem in homes and school systems. Why are we relying on media (that is supposed to be consumed by adults) to teach our kids about sex and relationships?

Back to Rhianna- it made me feel uncomfortable that she never released a public statement in regards to getting back together with Brown. I would have been more comfortable if she had said something along the lines of "What he did was terrible, but he is seeking treatment" or any variations of this. Let's look at how my statement began, shall we? "I would have been more comfortable." Well, art/music/writing isn't about making me, or anyone else, "more comfortable." If you don't like it, go out and create something that you do like. Don't censor, create something better. After all, does the removal of potentially harmful things ever actually work? Well, the war on drugs was a great success, so, perhaps.

Quick point on Brown- yes, he abused her. Does this mean he will always be an abuser? Fuck no. How could I have training and experience in the field of clinical psychology and have the nerve to assert that an abuser will never change? Is it likely? Is it easy? No, no. However, there's a danger when we begin to make blanket statements such as "once an abuser, always an abuser," when we assume that there is no room for improvement, no room for growth. These were statements and sentiments that I heard expressed various times throughout the conference, and it scared me.

Now, there's nothing wrong with discussions these issues. In fact, I think we should be talking about this topic; how it makes us feel, what we believe is the public perception, what young women and men are learning from these highly publicized romantic relationships. Unfortunately, in feminist spaces, I have noticed the conversation veer towards censorship far too many times. Just as it has done about porn, and about portrayals of violence in media. When we begin to censor, where do we draw the line?  Honestly, the whole idea frightens me; it scares the shit out of me.

Now, switching gears. One of the highlights of the trip was a conversation that I had with a fantastic feminist professor whom with I had previously worked. We discussed our views on pornography, sex work, and the objectification of women. We also discussed the hierarchy that exists within sex work, and I was the first to say that as as young white women, I am part of the privileged end of the continuum. There is no doubt about it. I have good height/weight proportions, white skin, and am in my 20's. There is no fucking way I am facing the same adversity as a minority status sex worker in her 40's. Or, I could have just left off the age, let's leave it at "minority sex worker." It's an intersection of age, gender, sexual orientation, class, race, and to  pretend that it's not is just ignorance, period. What does this really mean in terms of choice? What do I do with this knowledge and how can I still do good work within the community? Well, that's a conversation for another day, and one in which I look forward to having with others at the Desiree Alliance conference. My chat with this professor primed me for many NECESSARY conversations in the future. But, back to objectification. It's her belief that pornography, and the constant images of "sexy" women that serve as nothing more than jerk-off material, perpetuate a culture in which women's bodies are used and discarded. We agreed on the terms of objectification, but not on the implications. I am objectifying myself, there's no doubt about it. Do I feel good about this objectification, and am I making a choice to do it? Yes, and yes. It was a refreshing discussion, because unlike so many other feminists that I have talked to, her response was "and that's your choice, and it's okay. But, in regards to this issue, you're not a feminist." Would you believe that I actually felt liberated when she said this? I'm not a feminist, and that's okay. No judgment, no shaming, no chastising. I am making a choice, and that's okay. It also doesn't mean that I can't hold feminist ideals in other arenas, it doesn't need to be so black and white. Honestly, one of the most thought-provoking conversations that I have had in a long while.

Perhaps this objectification does have a negative impact on culture and the way in which women view themselves. Just as perhaps violent media and song lyrics have a negative impact, but again, what's the solution? We come full circle. It's not censorship; it's not pulling all porn off the internet; it's not telling sex workers to stop objectifying themselves; it's not telling Rhianna that she needs to stop expressing herself. Or that she needs to make a public apology, just to make US feel better about HER trauma.

I feel the  need to end this article by saying that I wrote this much as I would write an entry in my journal. These are only my views, and they're expressed (perhaps not as eloquently as they could have been) after five days at a conference. I wanted to share some of my thoughts and insights, and that's it. Pick them apart and bitch at me all you want, but they're still only MY views, and I'm allowed to have them.. Thanks for reading.

Susan Davis on Rabble Canada Speaks Out

The article that I posted a couple of days ago about Meghan Murphy and other abolitionists has received A LOT of attention, from both sides. Last night, I noticed that I was getting traffic from Rabble Canada, a site that Murphy blogs for. She also has a podcast on Rabble, so I followed the link and found that the traffic was coming from the sex work message board on Rabble. Susan Davis re-posted my article on the page, which sparked more controversy, also leading Murphy to assert that I have an "unhealthy obsession" with her. This gave me the greatest laugh over the last two days! The egocentric and continually self-obsessed Murphy assumes that anyone who disagrees with her is in fact "obsessed." Another typical effort from the anti-sex work camp to trivialize our voices. Anyways, you can see all of that here: Rabble Message Board

I was touched by one of Susan's comments, and with her permission, have re-posted it here. Well done, Susan! Also, thank you for sharing my writing and spreading our message. xo

"As a sex worker there seems to be some lack of balance here on rabble. i just mean that while this forum is great and honestly i don't mind people reacting here and discussing these issues but for me it is every day, i am a sex worker.

i have never said that all sex work is safe, wonderful and fulfilling or that violence doesn't happen. i have been a full time support worker for free with no back up or infrastructure for years. i have heard of and experienced violence.

my issue is with the constant belittling of my fellow sex workers in the name of saving us. why can't abolitionists as feminists listen to us and hear all sides. why when faced with a different perspective is the reaction to dismiss? why is citing a "researcher" whose credibility is in question deemed ok? it wasn't good enough for the supreme court but its ok for abolitionists?

we are told that there is no war but yet here we are again. why can't sex workers speak for themselves and why is it that only the perspective of those workers whose experiences mirror what people expect to hear is believed?

i don't understand how such a slanted perspective can be the only actual "staff" journalism on this issue. where is the feminist columnist/journalist who is/was a sex worker? where is the balance between the exposure the 2 positions receive?

the terms seem to create an environment where balance and unbiased journalism allow people to decide for themselves which perspective/outcome/appropriate action they support.

the voices of actual sex workers should be at the forefront of this discussion and should include diverse perspectives to ensure Canadians have a clear understanding of the decisions looming on the horizon. if that perspective does not come forward, the right thing to do would be to seek it out to ensure that balance of information is available to people who care about this issue.

already on the prairies municipalities are taking action changing by-laws and creating all kinds of ridiculous and dangerous rules. why? because abolitionists are funded like crazy to spread their message. where is the support for sex workers to do them same?

forced registration, fining for non compliance, arrest and detention during registration, forced information sessions containing all of the usual rhetoric (its like they copied john school) the worst of that session is the "how to save your money" portion put on by the bank, they're not above selling us mutual funds even though we're down trodden, victim's of our own self delusions...oh yeah and human trafficking....is this the desired affect? is this what abolitionists wanted? because here it is. thanks a lot, we really appreciate your enabling of police violence against us....oh, you didn't know that was happening? you didn't mean for that to happen?

the question is will any of you do anything to stop it? will you accept that this is a direct result of only one perspective being heard?

you say i am slanderous, you say you mostly support an abolitionist stance, you say you want balance on issues on rabble....

its a little hard to believe when it seems that the reigning opinion here is against us.

will rabble hire a feminist sex worker journalist? will rabble bring balance to this discussion which affects me and my entire community every single day?

here' a story for you, some contrast to the violence described above...to be clear this is not diminish the experiences described but to try to balance views on our daily lives.

a friend of mine was visiting from Edmonton where she has moved to take care of an aging regular client who can no longer take care of himself. this man had been her friend for a long time prior to his health crisis and so she went ot visit him in the care home where he lived. he wept when he saw her and began to describe the horrible treatment he was receiving from the care givers...not changing his diaper, one bath a week, very little food, no human interaction...

she was moved and totally upset and so removed him immediately....legally...but as immediately as possible... she has since been taking care of him ....for no money.....that's right....no money whatsoever....

she shared pictured of him smiling in a bubble bath with candles all around him....

is this guy a criminal rapist? was he ever?

how can in this day and age our society paint a situation with only one brush? where is the support for sex workers who like their work to be heard? when do we get understand that we need to hear from all sides to ensure we stabilize the safety of people working in the sex industry. when will abolitionists recognize the impact they have on our safety?

will you ever listen to us?"

Is This Feminism? Murphy and More. FACEPALM.

Over the past year, I have come across several individuals who really hate porn, sex work, and the women, men, and transgendered individuals that take part in sex work. I am hard pressed to find another industry that faces the same discrimination, and that is the target of the same fear and disdain as the sex industry. Simultaneously, there is this absolute need to “save” those who engage in sexual labor, even in the absence of the worker’s desire to be saved! I don’t understand it. I worked as a server and bartender for several years. I HATED IT. I used to drive into work with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, and often left work crying, despite the hundreds of dollars that I had made. No one tried to save me. I never ran into any non-profit groups that promised me “a better life.” Well, perhaps we could begin with an analysis of this countries general fear of sexuality, but I think that’s better suited for a future book.

When examining the anti-sex work camp, it’s easy to spot the loons. I have written extensively about Shelley Lubben’s Pink Cross Foundation in the past Shelley Lubben Article as well as “doctor” Judith Reisman (this is a hilarious one!) "Dr" Lubben & "Dr" Reisman  Jordan Owen has brilliantly demonstrated time and time again why Gail Dines isn’t worthy of a second listen. Jordan Owen is AWESOME

The problem is with this new breed of feminists, who appear well-intentioned but are really just wolves in sheep’s clothing. The feminists who are here to SAVE the sex workers, if only we’d listen to them! If only we really understood the damage that sex work is inflicting upon us, individuals like Meghan Murphy could swoop in and give us a better life. The problem is that they don’t offer any actual resources, and worse yet, anyone who tries to engage Murphy in a debate will be belittled and trivialized. Does it sound like anyone is actually being saved here? Of course not. Murphy, and others like her, isn’t interested in truly listening to sex workers OR “saving” them. They are interested in furthering their own selfish agenda. In Murphy’s own words, if you disagree with her (or are a proponent of free speech), you’re “stupid.” Yup, here’s her latest article. Meghan Murphy Loves Criminalization  This is Murphy’s brand of feminism, and if you don’t agree, then you’re simply not worth her time. 

For the record, I don’t discount the voices of women who have been victims of sex trafficking. It happens, and it’s a problem. Does anyone disagree with me there? However, that’s not what I’m focusing on. I’m focusing on the fact that Murphy (and every other individual mentioned in this article) ignores the voices of sex workers who CHOOSE to be in the sex industry. According to these brave feminist saviors, these women & men don’t actually exist. Again, they’re just suffering from that damn false consciousness.

Here's a noteworthy quote that I came across during the Murphy debate on Twitter: 

“Guess what? I DO want an alternative to sex work None of the antis are helping with that. They just shame, silence, support abusive policies”’

What's Murphy doing for her???

I first encountered Murphy on a mutual friend’s Facebook page. She calls herself a feminist, and apparently writes, so I made the mistake of thinking that I could engage her in an interested debate. OOPS! When she told me that Farley’s research is “solid,” (scoff), I asked her what she knew of Farley’s research. (If you're not familiar with Farley's work, look it up, at your own risk. Anti-prostitution researcher, although I hesitate to even call what she does research.) Murphy had once interviewed Farley, so this was enough evidence for her. She proceeded to tell me that perhaps if I read any of Farley’s research, I would understand why prostitution is harmful. Hmmm. I have had the displeasure of reading and critiquing Farley’s “research,” as have many others. When I tried to talk to Murphy about small sample sizes, poor sampling techniques, and unethical research practices, she responded with insults.

Individuals like Murphy (whom, by the way, has no training in statistics or research methodology) hide behind Melissa Farley’s research. Farley has a PhD, and therefore, she MUST know what she’s talking about, right? She receives funding from the US Department of Justice, and her studies are published in academic journals. As we all know, journals ONLY publish “solid” research, so we should believe everything that Farley writes, right…? Please tell me that you note the sarcasm here. *sigh*

Is this the face of feminism? I suppose so. Farley has been cited over and over and OVERRRRRR again by abolitionists such as Meghan Murphy & Stella Marr, yet nobody pays any mind to the fact that other researchers have filed complaints against her to the American Psychological Association. Am I missing something? These abolitionists love turning a blind eye, don’t they?  Complaint Lodged to APA

I could go on for years about Farley, but I could never do as brilliant a job as Dr. Barb Brents (a researcher who actually DID HER RESEARCH IN THE NEVADA BROTHELS) in this one article. Barb Brents Re: Farley In 2007, Brents writes

“Thus I conclude that Dr. Farley could not have intended this particular document to be presented as scientific research. Rather this report must be read as a series of essays drawing on facts as they support her organizations goals and positions. Should Dr. Farley choose to publish scientific work from her findings, I will look forward to seeing these in other peer-reviewed venues.” 

Oh, and in case you were wondering, that’s the same Melissa Farley who was arrested 13 different times in 9 states for tearing up Penthouse and Hustler magazines in 1985. I’ll give you a moment to let THAT nugget of knowledge sink in.

So, who is Murphy and why does anyone listen to her? Well, for starters, she holds a Masters degree in Women’s Studies, and I think she’s also completing a degree in journalism. So, clearly, she’s received excellent training in research methodology, right? FFS. In the absence of any empirical support, experience in the sex industry or academic background to actually critique the studies that she touts, WHY does anyone bother to listen to the Rick Santorum of feminism (as she calls herself on her own Twitter page). It’s a mystery to me.

She does a great job of spouting the same crap that other abolitionists have been repeating for years. Keep repeating the same message, and supporters will latch onto it, even in the absence of truth. Perhaps the most offensive of Murphy’s missteps was her conversation between several sex workers on twitter a few days ago. Sex workers were telling Murphy that THEY CHOOSE THEIR JOB. THEY ARE NOT COERCED. She does not want to listen. Well, we are all suffering from a false consciousness, so I guess that explains it. Murphy, Marr, Dines, Lubben, Riesman, and Farley all know me better than I know myself. I’m impressed. If only I could understand my inner workings as much as these strangers do. They’re really onto something!

To summarize:

Dear antis- you don’t give a crap about sex workers. You only care about how YOU feel about sex work. Your morals are yours and yours alone. I would appreciate if you kept them off of my body. In the event that I ever need saving, I won’t come to you. Not unless I want to be shamed and judged. Thanks.

UPDATE: Rabble, a site that Murphy actually blogs for, has re-posted this article. Murphy responds to the re-post by claiming that I am "obsessed" with her. Hilarity ensues! Susan Davis writes:

"this is a great piece against abolitionist journalists and shows alot about our resident blogger meghan murphy.

she has recently published an article in which we equates criminalization of rape as effective with the criminalization of sex work as being potentially effective...

i don't know where to begin to answer that argument so instead i found this response below"

http://rabble.ca/babble/sex-worker-rights/feminism-murphy-and-more-pioneering-sex-worker-advocacy-connecticut

UPDATE: Even more new developments. Susan Davis of Rabble Speaks Out

2013 Desiree Alliance Conference in Vegas!

Hey friends! I'd like to take a bit of space and time to acknowledge the 5th annual Desiree Alliance conference that's taking place in Vegas, July 14-19th:  The Audacity of Health, Sex Work, & Politics. This is some information about Desiree Alliance, the conference, and the general funds fundraiser that I am assisting with. General Funds for 2013 Desiree Alliance Conference

Desiree Alliance organizes conferences to provide leadership and create space for sex workers and supporters to come together to advocate for human, labor and civil rights for all workers in the sex industry!!

We greatly appreciate all contributions of any amount. As you can imagine producing a national conference is very expensive, Our registration fees are very low to encourage attendance from diverse communities, so we rely on the support of volunteers and contributors like you.

So, if you support the cause of sex worker's rights, research, discussion of health & policy  awareness, harm reduction, and education, please consider donating to this fund. Any help is appreciated!! Also, please share this page!! 

Below are links to the main Desiree Alliance page, as well as the conference page and information on submitting proposals! 

Desiree Alliance: Welcome!

Desiree Alliance Conference Page

Desiree Alliance CALL FOR PROPOSALS! Check out the 5 tracks!